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    dots Submission Name: Cannibal Lullabydots

    Author: rAbit
    ASL Info:    18/m/Tx
    Elite Ratio:    3.91 - 84/91/38
    Words: 225
    Class/Type: Misc/Death
    Total Views: 962
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1173

       I don't have an obsession with Cannibalism,
    I read a book today that was filled with the reported crimes on it, this poem is about one In Russia, where a girl was murdered.
    so i wrote something on it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCannibal Lullabydots

    She cries out as the rest of her life dries
    As the hymn of saws carving at her tissue
    Her dead eyes,, still spill tears of pain
    Blood of Techni-color, sprayed against the walls
    Grotesque creatures surround her corpse
    Fevered perfume of death floats abide on thin air
    Devouring the lady on the floor, cannibals whisper
    “I would kill for more”
    Skin torn from frail limbs, hanged like the decorative
    Unrecognized as a human, scattered brain matter
    Adored by an abstracted dead thought of a schizophrenic form
    Over-whelming Delicacy, torn from the corsage of her skin
    Blood spews and drips down the chins,
    As they tear deep beneath
    Favor mutilation for an orgasmic choice.
    Every victim lies in a open eyed gaze
    ruin and disembodied
    Obsession grown over, tells a story of a cannibal broken soul
    Holes through the heart, hanged from a tree,
    A holocaust has set a fire to thee.
    Flesh, eating creatures, as a guilt derived piece
    Thrown in the pages of history,

    Submitted on 2006-04-01 01:12:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I swear to you sir, you have got some serious talent going on there. I always thought to myself, that a poem that can cause a reaction, will always be of excellent academy (your an academic, clearly with all the alliteration, onomatopaeia and other various poetic devices in your writing) It was an outstanding poem, Il b adding this to my favourites. I am a girl, and normally any girl I would show this poem too would slap me for allowing them to read a poem which creates grotesque overtones, I was never really the type of girl who was revolted by flesh and blood and human insides so thats why I did react when I read it, but that reaction was my pre-adoration of this poem :)...

    the adjectives you use in this, such as 'carving' creates such imagery, and imagery creates a feeling of authenticity which is excellent in this type of poem. I also like how you refer to this little girls brain bits as 'scattered brain matter' ... ahh that wording almost feels like im taking drugs again :)

    honestly, this piece is fuelled so much with academy, it really is. however I feel like the last 4 lines were perhaps a little un natural in the ending for a persistent feel to make the poem rhyme? maybe not, maybe thats just me. thats no change for it on me though, i loved this :) excellent work keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by freak_like_me | [ Reply to This ]

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