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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: April Fooldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 509



    Description:
       four count lines with near rhyme

    I had this broken into verses (4 lines each - I call that a 4x4 poem), but liked it better run together. The short lines read quickly. Breaks (brakes? hmm...) just seemed to slow it down.

    Mostly I was having fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it. I recommend reading it aloud to get the entire feeling of the flow.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApril Fooldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Month before May
    On the first day
    Lover parades
    A fool's charade
    I love you too
    As April fool's
    That joke's not new
    Just very cruel
    So I will laugh
    At all things past
    And will not ask
    Remove the mask
    I'll let it be
    What you can see
    The jokes on me
    But I am free
    I smirk at you
    And know what's true
    As April's fool
    You'll get what's due




    Submitted on 2006-04-01 11:40:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice! I like the quick succession of this pice. It read so well out loud. I love the flow and the rhyme shceme was perfect. Yeah, karma has a way of getting around. I liked this one. You based it on a day most see as a way to play pranks and you made it into a cute and witty poem on love. Great work.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      HA!
    What goes around comes around!
    This was a fun one to read and the message and moral was an added bonus. Neat how you wove that into a certain day of the year too.
    Just a quesion though, was parade meant to be plurized in the third line?

    Anyway, good stuff here maynard!
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this one....I loved the rhyme sceam and how short the lines were...It's definatly original and the ideas all flow really well together!
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by DragonflyKisses | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the concept of someone being an April's Fool - only advice - the fast-paced rhyming scheme throws off the flow in places, so maybe add a few words to make it a little more lengthy...? Keep up the originality :)
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Anyua | [ Reply to This ]


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