[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: April Fooldots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 719
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 509

       four count lines with near rhyme

    I had this broken into verses (4 lines each - I call that a 4x4 poem), but liked it better run together. The short lines read quickly. Breaks (brakes? hmm...) just seemed to slow it down.

    Mostly I was having fun with this one. I hope you enjoy it. I recommend reading it aloud to get the entire feeling of the flow.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsApril Fooldots

    Month before May
    On the first day
    Lover parades
    A fool's charade
    I love you too
    As April fool's
    That joke's not new
    Just very cruel
    So I will laugh
    At all things past
    And will not ask
    Remove the mask
    I'll let it be
    What you can see
    The jokes on me
    But I am free
    I smirk at you
    And know what's true
    As April's fool
    You'll get what's due

    Submitted on 2006-04-01 11:40:13     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Nice! I like the quick succession of this pice. It read so well out loud. I love the flow and the rhyme shceme was perfect. Yeah, karma has a way of getting around. I liked this one. You based it on a day most see as a way to play pranks and you made it into a cute and witty poem on love. Great work.

    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
    What goes around comes around!
    This was a fun one to read and the message and moral was an added bonus. Neat how you wove that into a certain day of the year too.
    Just a quesion though, was parade meant to be plurized in the third line?

    Anyway, good stuff here maynard!
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this one....I loved the rhyme sceam and how short the lines were...It's definatly original and the ideas all flow really well together!
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by DragonflyKisses | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the concept of someone being an April's Fool - only advice - the fast-paced rhyming scheme throws off the flow in places, so maybe add a few words to make it a little more lengthy...? Keep up the originality :)
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Anyua | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]