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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love is a Flower (3 - Haiku)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 43
    Class/Type: Haiku/Love
    Total Views: 787
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 320



    Description:
       These are my first ever Haiku poems.

    These were done in accordance with my understanding of the form.

    5-7-5 pattern
    Lessons in nature
    Independent lines, each makes a complete statement


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove is a Flower (3 - Haiku)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    1.
    Cherry blossoms wake
    A smile pollinates my heart
    Love is a flower

    2.
    Love stems push upward
    Damp dark earth births light seekers
    Buds become flowers

    3.
    Love is a flower
    Friends turn into a garden
    Delight surrounds me




    Submitted on 2006-04-02 11:53:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      These Haiku's are very well written especially for them being your first ones. I especially like the first one best. It reminds me of summers at my old house when we would pick the cherries off of the trees. keep up the good work and I look forward to reading more of your poetry.


    R.bayden
    | Posted on 2006-08-13 00:00:00 | by remedy bayden | [ Reply to This ]
      oooh your haikus are so prettyyyy, i liked reading about the flowers and such, though it feels the second line in the second piece should mention something about roots, dince it starts all dark earthy.. but whatever sounds fine. I enjoy the haiku limitation a lot myself. ^_^ peace and love. -rue
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Rue | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this very much. I think your third one was not as strong as the others though. They were all beautiful. I loved the first one best. I think you did really good for stringing them all together. Love is like a flower. And it is up to us how it grows in out lives. Good write.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty happy and uplifting. I like the reoccuring theme of the flower in each haiku (bless u).

    1.
    Just a good one with a springtime sense to it.

    2.
    I liked how you made it that lovely things can sprout from dark, damp places.

    3.
    Thats just like standing in a garden looking in delight at all the flower friends growing.

    Such a sweet write Chrystine. Good job on your first set of haikus (bless u)
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      So sorry I took so long to get back to you but I was rather busy, but I here now.

    Hmmm... interesting a haiku chain, nice. But change the title you don't have to have 3-haiku up there, you could just leave the title as is.
    Also the lines don't have to be independent statements but they can actually flow into each other allowing for a better read and flow.

    For e.g
    Crystal Clear Waters
    Run Into Endless Valleys
    With God's Living Flow

    I gave you a snap shot of what I wanted you to see with a nice little flow rather than independent statements about the same thing.
    It always good to experiment with haiku a little and with poetry on the whole.

    Regardless it was a very good attempt for your first try at the art. Keep up the good work and have a blessed and most wonderful day.
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Chrystine
    I really like this one
    I am not sur and please forgive me if im nitpicking but dosent the 2nd line of poem 1 have 8 beats instead of 7
    Either way it dosent matter
    This poem is a beutiful perception of nature
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is definitely different, but in a good way! It's not the average poem you see everyday. Most of them are about love angst, and death. But this was a very nice change, and I love how you took a different attempt at the theme of love.

    I'm not that great at comments, but I wanted to let you know that I really like it.

    kassandra
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]
      I enjoyed every line and the way they do in fact hold their own. That was quite a feat in and of itself. You've painted some beautiful pictures in my mind's eye.. and while reading.. this line became true > "A smile pollinates my heart"- I love the feeling that particular line gives me.

    "Damp dark earth births light seekers" was nice also.

    And, the last one was a nice way to wrap it up.. with friends as a flower garden of love.

    line 1 has 6 syllables.. perhaps change "awake" to "wake".

    A very lovely write. I enjoyed!
    | Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]


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    97470

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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