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    dots Submission Name: Influential Pickingdots

    Author: freak_like_me
    ASL Info:    20/female/Ireland
    Elite Ratio:    4.81 - 120/118/49
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 975
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 595

       Well this is really just about a disease i am said to have haha, yea i pick at my skin until i bleed, i do not know why i do this, i just like the thought of digging holes on hard new flesh, aye you could say im a freak yea it would link to my name :P

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInfluential Pickingdots

    My sister had a theory
    She said it had no place
    saying that the problem lay beneath my skin

    'Its all up there'

    The feeling of persistence
    Comes all from the hard sharp nails
    Their strategically formed curves
    Tear at the skin
    And the release of endorphins
    engulf the rush of blood
    to its central point

    'Its all up there'

    Treatment was recalled about this
    for many a time
    but my sisters theory was correct
    It really was... all just up there

    Submitted on 2006-04-02 12:42:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "And the release of endorphins
    engulf the rush of blood
    to its central point"

    I think what most people don't understand, people that don't scratch/cut/rub skin raw/those type of things, is that it really does release endorphins. That you feel this undeniable need to do so. That you feel this nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach if you don't do it.... That when you finally release that need to see the blood, to feel the endorphins, you feel this release of everything. Like you have control, like you are okay for that instant. I would know because I have these feelings....

    It is true, though, that these feelings are in your head. Something, I don't know what, in your head is a little off. That doesn't make you a freak, it just means that you have a different coping mechanism than others. I really don't think you are a freak.

    This is a great piece because of the honesty, the vulnerability. Thank you for sharing this piece with your heart on your sleeve
    | Posted on 2009-02-10 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      I actually know a few people with habits like these, and I don't think any of them are freaks. Neither are you.

    As has been said, in most of these circumstances - cutting, scratching, whatever it is - yes, I do believe that it is in the head. Looking for a rush, maybe even just doing it out of habit, it's familiar and routine and well, you just can't stop doing it.

    I don't know exactly what "disorder" I guess this is, but I agree with dawn, you should try to stop if you are still doing it. You can scratch and pick until your entire body is covered with scars and not feel a single bit better. Try to replace it with something else, say maybe, poetry? Everytime you feel the need to scratch or pick, grab a pen (don't use the pen on your skin!) and write what it is that you are feeling that is driving you to scratch. As you write, you may find yourself no longer needing to do it. Try it and see if it works. ...bb...

    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      It's not the same as "Cutting." I used to scratch my legs until they bled. I chose my legs so that no one else would know what I was doing- you don't have to wear shorts well, ever. But eventually you grow out of that stuff. Some people take longer than others and for most they just move on to a worse addiction or better yet, hobby. There is a disorder associated with this habit, it is linked to feelings of inadequecy, beleive it or not perfectionism- or fear of not having control over a particular situation. Divorce, seperation, anxiety, break up, moving? Whatever the [censored] try to stop because as the scars you wear on the inside are hidden those others make a nervous disorder a little more obvious to the outside world, and sadly people out here are less than understanding as you already know. And yeah, the problem does lay beneath your skin, but scratching or picking doesn't let it out.
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by dawnschild | [ Reply to This ]
      I think it's called being a cutter, though in your case you would be a scratcher. I'm no expert on the field but I'd probably asume the problem is in your head as well

    "The feeling of persistence
    Comes all from the hard sharp nails
    Their strategically formed curves"

    What catched my attention is that nails usually aren't very sharp, you can't prick yourself with them so to speak, and I'm not really sure if they have strategically formed curves, at least, not like some of the better looking female breasts have to lure in the weaker members of the male species.

    "And the release of endorphins
    engulf the rush of blood
    to its central point"

    I like those lines better, it's a subtle way to refer back to the theme in a natural way without being too obvious.

    "Treatment was recalled about this
    for many a time
    but my sisters theory was correct"

    The first line reads a bit strange and I don't think I'm exactly following you there. "sisters" should be "sister's". All in all I'd say this poem could use some more work.
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by machine dream | [ Reply to This ]
      well i think that though you dont go into major detail as to why, it's pretty bluntly made clear...it's all up there, in your head.

    i dont think you're a freak...now had you said you dig holes to look cool or sumpin, then i'd have to agree on some freakiness...

    anyway, thanks for sharing something so personal
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, that definitely took me more than one time to understand what you were saying (I think). Well, what I got from it was that you have the urge to peel your skin, andyour sister told you it's all in your head. And I'm guessing by 'treatement' you mean psychatrist or psychologist for help.

    Anyway, I'm glad you have the description at the top, otherwise I'd be completely lost. I did like the repetition of "it's all up there." It had a nice flow. I'm also impressed with the ending "but my sisters theory was correct/it's all up there."

    The only recommendation to you is maybe put more detail into it, as to WHY you want to do this to yourself (I know it's in the description, but it'd be nice if it were in the poem as well). Also, in "sisters theory was correct," 'sisters' should be 'sister's'. Sorry, it's just this infactuation I have with grammar.

    Anyway, very nicely done! I enjoyed the read.
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by lemonpromenade | [ Reply to This ]

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