Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: True Valuedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 408
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1101
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2624



    Description:
       I have added some commentary below the poem.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrue Valuedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Common carnal knowledge:
    The true value of any object is not the price you place on it.
    Valuation is made by what someone is willing to pay.


    For love she remits all she owns and takes out an eternal loan.
    Silly as she is, she then gives it all away, and does not demand a fair trade.

    She calculates it as the best investment she has ever made
    as she places the equity in a trust and goes on her merry way.






    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I am placing these remarks in this box rather than above because I think the reader should have a chance to digest and dissect a poem before they are told what it means. For me, an important part of poetry's pleasure is digging and discovering what is hidden in its many levels. Often the poet is revealing parts of their soul of which even they are not aware.

    Poetry is a cocktail mixed from the bottles of the reader and the writer. The effect and intoxication will vary for the concoction based on the proof of each component.

    I attempt to write so that the most superficial level is attractive and comprehensible. Although the real kick for most of my poetry is somewhere far beneath.

    For anyone that would care to know, here are some of the things I was working with in this poem.

    Carnal knowledge is a euphemism for sexual intercourse. One bit of folk wisdom says that a common obscenity is an acronym from a police blotter if someone was arrested with the designation for unlawful carnal knowledge. However, in this case I am contrasting being intimate in a spiritual manner rather than physical.

    The true in true value is a reference to eternal truth.

    Valuation is a nod to our core values.

    Eternal loan is a contrast to a 30-year mortgage. This is referencing a forever commitment.

    Does not demand a fair trade is referring to this not needing to be a give and take relationship..

    Trust has an intentional double meaning.

    I don't know if this helps, hinders or really doesn't matter. For some reason I felt the need to include this with the poem.

    Thanks for reading this!




    Submitted on 2006-04-02 14:54:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow!!
    THAT is wonderful peice and wonderful explanation and I like your style in writing and I wish I could be a great writer like you. Well done my dear Chrystine.
    Yours,
    Khaled.
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
      Nicely done indeed Chrystine. certainly words for thought, and btw your addendum was extremely well written too.

    I have heard varying theories on how much we should explain our poems, so it's obviously a personal thing. I guess it depends on what you think you NEED to explain. Personally, I really didn't need the help, but it's always nice to know one was right in there interpretations. Others may need to be pointed in the right direction. The bottom line is that it's YOUR poem, so if you feel you should add something, go right ahead.

    Very nicely done here

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      Chrystine,
    I've read this a couple of times, even ignored it for a day and then come back to it...I really, really like it and I like how you put the explanation after. It wasn't needed, yet it was, it helped, not hindered. There was not really a need for clarification of this finely written piece, but it sort of verified the feel I was getting.
    I certainly didn't exactly hit it right on the nail and my thumb hurts a bit, but I now have a bit more knowledge under my belt and just had to tell you this was another fine write from you
    Thank you
    Lisa
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm...very thought provoking. I like the way you put it though. Kind of seems complex, but when you boil it down it is quite elementary.
    I especially liked the last two lines.
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Since I heard this one earlier and found all of it to ring true, I think that if you want love, you musy be willing to risk all of it.
    That means, trust is essential, but this is crafty Chrystine in a profound way.

    I can't explain why this one works for me, it's very personal but something that has crossed my awareness just lately makes it hit home..

    Bravo,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      So, I certainly wrote a comment, but then there was an error, soo this will be my second attempt. Unfortunately. haha.
    First off, this short piece is very true, very enjoyable. I liked the rhyme scheme, because it was disordered, but it works very well. I also really like how you make an analysis of your own work after you finish the piece, so that the reader can develop their own opinions and then contrast them with yours.
    The first (second?) line:
    "The true value of any object is not the price you place on it."
    Really draws the reader in, and really gives the poem purpose and direction. It also is general, and can be applied to a million other things... which makes the statement really tangible and gets the readers mind going.
    Good short write!

    -Ann
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      Chrystine
    I like this one
    And I would also like to add that I really like the idea of including a little example of exactly what emotions this poem was written about
    You did very good with this
    Again I apologize for the mistake I made on the last poem
    God Bless
    Ron


    And By The way I am still hoping one day you can come to a redondo poets reading they are every tuesday night
    I wiould really love to finally meet you
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that love given is never a bad bargin. I think that we are better people for having given love even if we are hurt by the person who was gifted. It is not the being loved in return that causes the soul to grow, it is the giving and not expecting anything in return. I truly like this. Hope that I have read your meaning correctly. This is what it says to me. I will go back at some point and read the comments that you added after, but I just wanted to write my impressions. Lynn
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by greensnake | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    97493

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry