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shambles


Author: Krinchinian
ASL Info:    20/f/pa
Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 164 /231 /84
Words: 112
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 981
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 676



Description:


another poem where we had to use the words alligator, crisp, microscope, dictionary, tangled, feather, lullaby, and junk...so here is my creation...hope you enjoy


shambles



Like an alligator he tore out my heart
It was a crisp clean cut
He tore my heart into shambles
The pieces so small you need a microscope
There arent enough words in the dictionary to describe how i feel
My emotions become so tangled you can decipher one from another
Now theres a gaping black hole in my chest that used to be my heart
The shambles lighter than a feather
Istart to sing myself a lullaby
And sing myself into a permanent sleep
Theres too much junk happening at once
I cant stand all the pressure and stress anymore
Goodbye cruel world so long
You can not hurt me anymore




Submitted on 2006-04-02 15:50:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Nicely done, Kris, I really enjoy seeing what people do with word lists, it's great!

This is typical of your main theme of misery, and tells the story well, using the words you were bound by.

I dunno about the "shambles" as you change the mood slightly there when you sing the lullaby, so maybe you could be more like "yet strangely lighter than a feather" to lead into WHY you would sing a lullaby...know what I mean?

It's the only small thing I can find, I reckon you did really well

be happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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