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Lucky number 45


Author: L.i.
ASL Info:    20ish/m/aynu realm
Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 55 /42 /8
Words: 195
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1086
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1366



Description:


if i give you a description it will mess up the element of supprise. plus once you read it.....you'll know what it is about.


Lucky number 45



You rushed her
You pushed her
You touched her
You forced her to submit
She had to subdue
To your sick twisted shit
You say you're one of God beings
But you are a pawn of the devil
She was only sixteen
You were forty-five
And ruined her life
Gaining weight and morning sicknesses
Your malice causes massive sacrifices
Future embarrassment or education
Financial struggle or abortion
Decisions decisions
Confusion, depression
This girl is left with an unanswered question
Does my father love me
Or does he just love my pussy
She finds herself in therapy
Seeking to find a remedy
But that remedy wasn't enough
She's still stuck in an emotional rut
As you run away from your fear
You divorce her mother
So you can disappear
It doesn't end here
Because she is suffering
Fort-five days later
Her belly is still swelling
Telling herself this was all going to get better
Bitter she found forty-five to be her lucky number
That summer she found your .45
Looking in the mirror
Observing the hatred in her eyes
Wishing to use it on you
But you weren't in her vision
But she was




Submitted on 2006-04-03 11:33:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This is a very emotional and powerful piece of writing, but I want to caution you about being so vulgar in some places. I mean, I'm no prude, but is it really proper or necessary to use the word "pussy"? Sometimes you have to mainstream your writing so that it doesn't cross the line that makes it potentially offensive, because that will greatly reduce the number of people that would otherwise be engaged by what you write.

The saddest part of this, for me, though...is the fact that this girl actually wonders if her father loves her or just loves her for the sex? Instead of knowing the guy is a piece of [censored] for using and abusing her that way, she wonders if he loves her?

How sad (but true)
| Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
  It's been a while older guy version of me. This is the first....depressing poem i've read today...the only poem i read today...okay [censored] it it's the only poem (other than the ones written by me.) i've read in a while. It was good though. The flow was alittle bit off, but other than that it was wonderfull i wouldn't change a thing about it.

Danni
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
  wow, this was sooooooo sad, its sick to think that this does go on in the world, i felt every word, i have a tinkgling sensation going up and down my spine now,
thanx for sharing,
keep em cummin
kyrenia
x x x x
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
  This is so sad
My God is this sad
You really captured some incredible emotion
If this happened in real life to you I am so sorry
Stay Strong
There are others who have been abused who feel your pain
Trust me I know
God Bless
Ill be Praying for you
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  sad topic. OR personal story, but none the less it was a good read.

I couldnt get on your myspace, but ill try later.
You have a good point about tryin to get your [censored] published. You got me interested and i spend money on Cd's, so there ya go.

Keep em cummen, think of it as practice.

PC
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]
  I dunno whats up with guys molesting their daughters. D*ckheads! GRRRRRRRRRR!

Anyway, your write provided a lot of explanation as to why most "men" are just boys. And you did it quite well. NOt sure about the two "but"s in the last two lines. Hmmm...probably just me though. Thanks for sharing.
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
  OMG! I loooooved it!! I was kind of disgusted with the father, and then the last few lines:

That summer she found your .45
Looking in the mirror
Observing the hatred in her eyes
Wishing to use it on you
But you weren't in her vision
But she was

It dang near made me cry. It was very sad. Awesome job!

Kassandra
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by darkwinged | [ Reply to This ]


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