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    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Circlesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: greenlantern
    Elite Ratio:    4.16 - 4/1/6
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 116
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 553



    Description:
       Any type of feedback at all is welcome, I'm seeking some guidance when it comes to honing the craft of writing.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCirclesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Weary sigh of this tired heart
    Endless sea of brand new starts
    Eternal life is lived inside
    Pasted youthful glow to an empty shell with a head full of lies
    This fear has got me running in circles
    And a demon lies in wait behind my steps
    Pouncing upon every mishap, mistake
    Determined to wring out my very last breath
    But the warrior, she cries
    Awakened by the call
    The beating of my heart is her drumbeat to fight
    And she won’t lose this battle, not again, not tonight




    Submitted on 2006-04-03 15:33:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was good i liked the flow the fourth line was probably too long and didnt flow as well as the other lines, you should be careful of your rhyme meter.

    Shalom,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]



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