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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In His Wakedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: greenlantern
    Elite Ratio:    4.16 - 4/1/6
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 105
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 857



    Description:
       Welllll this was my first attempt at a "love" poem. I like it, but I think I can improve... I'm not sure... what do you guys think?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn His Wakedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember the kiss
    The touch, the breath
    That leads you through to me each time
    Breaks me, shakes me
    And throws me to the ground
    This moment defined
    When eyes meet and our hands collide
    I quake for another reason now
    Can’t find a word to say
    Except for the silent things that I pray
    Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me like this
    Can’t you see what you do to me?
    How you silence each thought with a single kiss
    It all feels like a volatile wave
    And sometimes it engulfs me
    And as I look into the eye of the storm
    It’s weeping
    I can’t wait any longer
    I can’t lose my sight
    So whisper, lover
    Tell me how it ends
    Will you take me or will you not?
    Because these tears of mine are more than I can lend




    Submitted on 2006-04-03 15:40:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The ending is perfect! Its a great poem. if i had to say something negative it would be punctuation...but this is comming from a girl who seldom uses it. its wonderful...very nicely done.
    AL
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by Amanda Lynn | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a nice little love poem i may just have to print it out for my boo. I especially liked the ending that was beautiful. well done.

    Kuddos,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
      awww.hehe.ya, a love poem indeed.it's nice.can't think much of a criticism.again,i love the last line.a nice ending..^_^
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by raineces | [ Reply to This ]



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