[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Disillusiondots

    Author: ParanoidParadox
    ASL Info:    22/m/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 89/90/40
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 678
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1085

       wrote this while listening to alot of weird, trippy techno

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Gaze fixated upwards
    Spiralling to the sky
    This, heart, this battlefield
    Division: you and I
    All these words without thoughts
    All these thoughts without words
    Dreams of boundless freedom
    Gone like the flocks of birds
    Breeze begins to lift us
    This desire, denial
    Ascension tells no lies
    Overcoming our trial
    Order amongst chaos
    Success amongst error
    Strip down to what is left
    The autumn moon is fairer

    One day I know we'll awaken
    Attempt to fix what is breaking
    Admit amourous travesties
    Scrawled out in bitter elegies
    What never was shall always be
    The blind eye turned shall always see
    Confessions forged with faulty ink
    Repaired within the broken link
    We look towards the sky again
    Tearing across the northern wind
    Without a doubt or second thought
    Grasping at lights we would have caught
    We descend and return to earth
    Eyes opening: A child at birth

    Submitted on 2006-04-04 16:15:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
    You might have written this while listening to weird trippy techno, but there's nothing weird or trippy included in your write. As a matter of fact, you have a way of words with your flow. Like the ying and yang, with a lil touch of good and evil. You know a balance. I especially loved "the blind eye turned shall always see". How so true. You better continue to listen to your "weird trippy techno" because you are writing a "good flow" of words. Take care, wanda
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Dream written by closetpoet




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]