The Indian
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Description:
a hunter going after a deer
The Indian
The indian hunter stalks his prey touching the quills on his arrow crouching low as to not be seen the deer is just coming into view the hunter breaths slowly copying the beast blowing out snorts of air he is the colour of a bush he looks and sees the deer bow its head to the pond sharp his eyes are shut closed focus he must have to lace this animal he snaps back the bow and releasing the feathers a crow squaks in the distance the deer rests sleeping and dreaming up above the hunter kneals down beside the deer he says a prayer and thanks the wise man satifaction streaks the hunters face the kill has boosted his spirits |
Submitted on 2006-04-04 18:25:43 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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It was really descripitive and I could picture exactly what was happening. I love the part where the crow sounds in the distance, I could almost hear it! But the only thing I might consider to revise would be the part where the deer actually dies, I got a little confused, because dying is unlike sleeping, you should add something that makes it seem more sudden and painful than a nap in the sun. But other than that I liked it a lot.| | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by shmurr | [ Reply to This ] | |
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