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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Good Night Sweet Princedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyFairCalamity
    ASL Info:    17**I'm a lady**philly
    Elite Ratio:    7.1 - 115/67/16
    Words: 352
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 612
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2101



    Description:
       I gotta give credit where credit is due, Nikkki helped me when i was stuck, she is too awesome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGood Night Sweet Princedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I press my face against your window
    And let my breath fog up the glass
    I giggle to myself because only I know
    That this day will be your last.

    I grin as I skillfully unlock your back door
    And sneak silently into your house
    Youíre relaxing, unsuspectingly, sitting on your floor
    As I creep up behind you quiet as a mouse.

    You donít know Iím here until I make myself known
    I come up behind you and cover your pie hole
    With an apple and some duct tape, like pig would be shown
    Your permanent silence is my ultimate goal.

    I tie you down with frayed and twisted rope
    Wrists and ankles bound together tight
    Tight enough to cut you and make you lose all hope
    Iíve waited for a long time, but Iíll end my pain tonight.

    ďThis night will not go swiftly, love
    What I have planned will take awhile
    Youíll experience pain youíve never dreamed ofĒ
    Your peepers go wide at my devious smile.

    You plead for your life with your eyes
    Death doesnít really appeal to you
    You should of thought of that before all the lies
    Maybe then I wouldnít have died too.

    I canít take your whining any more
    You panic as my hands slide around your throat
    Itís nice to see you can have feelings so pure
    As my grip tightens, I start to gloat.

    The fear in your face is priceless
    With your mouth open, gaping for air
    I wish you would die, but still you persist
    I strengthen my hold and let out a swear.

    Your eyelids droop and your head rolls to the side
    You drift off to death like you would to sleep
    Into that never-ending slumber you slide
    Iím glad that youíre gone, life wasnít yours to keep.

    Iím sorry, my love, but it had to be done
    After all the times you hurt me, I couldnít let you live
    Now that this storm is over, out will come the sun
    And maybe someday I will learn to forgive.




    Submitted on 2006-04-04 20:22:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      First off I agree, Nikki is the shyt. Secondly, remind me never to piss you off. Though she may have helped and reflects on her usual style, it does deffinately have a different vibe. Now I think the biggest thing is periods, and commas, it doesn't read so well without(unless you try), also though I'm not quite sure how the formation could use a slight revision. Some color would really make this sick. this has, like mass potential. I really like your style, but it's still rough, and needs some smoothing out, see you around.
    | Posted on 2006-07-21 00:00:00 | by dismentled | [ Reply to This ]
      im not sure how i feel about this. it made me kinda weirded out. i think it was because i kept thinkin you were killing someone like a pig and it didnt sit well in my stromach. i dont think its bad though. im not sure yet.
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by LoveToHateMe | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, it really does sound like you might need to work on the forgiving, dear. Yikes.
    Not that I have any room to talk. I think that violent crime was a very good one.
    I like all the details and descriptions. I suppose I should call it imagery. Well, whatever, its wonderful.
    I like how you seem so happy yet distrought during the whole thing.
    I understand that. I'd be happy too.
    <-- like that. lol See?

    "I giggle to myself because only I know
    That this day will be your last."
    I like that because it shows how happy his demise makes you.

    "I grin as I skillfully unlock your back door"
    I like that too. You know how before someone does something bad, they kind of smile slightly with the corner of their mouth? Thats what it makes me think of.

    "Youíre relaxing, unsuspectingly, sitting on your floor"
    Hah if only people were more aware of what may be going on around them.
    Beware!!!!!

    "I come up behind you and cover your pie hole"
    lol Pie hole. I like that

    "With an apple and some duct tape, like pig would be shown"
    Fabulous line!!! But whoever could think of something like that is pretty darn sick.

    "Your permeate silence is my ultimate goal."
    Wonderfully worded, but do you mean "permanent?" Cause permeate means to like, kind of filter through something. I think. lol I dont know.

    "I tie you down with frayed and twisted rope
    Wrists and ankles bound together tight
    Tight enough to cut you and make you lose all hope
    Iíve waited for a long time, but Iíll end my pain tonight."
    I like the descriptive viloence. And that last line made me sad.

    I also like the dialogue you threw in there. That made it even more like a story than it already was. Very lovely

    "Death doesnít really appeal to you
    You should of thought of that before all the lies
    Maybe then I wouldnít have died too"
    That made me sad too.
    lol Ooo moms dancing. Shes a nut.

    "I canít take your whining any more"
    I hate when people whine. Take him out and call him Nancy!!!

    "The fear in your face is priceless"
    Yeah, there are some looks that you just cant put a price on

    "I strengthen my hold and let out a swear."
    lol Which one? Is it [censored]? I like that word.

    99 bottles of beer on the wall... 99 bottles of...
    Sorry. lol I got distracted.
    Anyways, back to my comment...

    "You drift off to death like you would to sleep"
    I love that line. Theres something about it that appeals to me. It seems so peaceful, but it isnt. Do you know what I mean?

    "Now that this storm is over, out will come the sun
    And maybe someday I will learn to forgive."
    That ending is perfect. I love it. I think it's kind of pretty.
    lol I like the sun.

    Well, that concludes my rediculously long comment.
    You have a boatload of talent, and it shows in every line.
    As yours always are,
    Very beautifully done

    Love always
    Your pal
    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm kinda at a loss of words here.....Hmmmm i don't really know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. I'm not complaining about the way you put it and all of that....Certain pictures you've portrayed seemed a bit disturbing in my head... I don't think i could of pictured anything else but a human pig being brutally murdered. It's kinda hard to grasp into another image.

    Still interesting images. I think you've done a good job because it's gonna stick in my head for a little while now. Anyhow, hope it wasn't real....lol

    Take care....
    Irina
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]


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