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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The True Facedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkstar9500
    ASL Info:    18/male/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 39/56/19
    Words: 47
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 769
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 309



    Description:
       I love masks. This explains why. Being your self without fear. Without your eyes and face espressions betraying you. As far as structure goes I think I need to work on how I break up the poem. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe True Facedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The face beneath another face
    No emotions through the flesh
    Only the words
    that hold the true face
    No fear of being judged
    Your true self surfaces
    Hiding the tears
    Hiding the smiles
    Only masters of words
    will be able to see
    The True Face




    Submitted on 2006-04-05 11:48:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      yeah i agree, u could have use lots metaphors so to express and make the poem longer... but after all, this is not a bad writing! I luv the idea behind it..so i say its a good work then ;)
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by jane_kiedis | [ Reply to This ]
      well i mean this was a good writing, but it should be on random thought, category, do not get me wrong , this is my opinion because of how you have structured this writing very simple and well your idea is ok, but you should have used more metaphores and stuff like that .. to creat e a better atmosphere to the use of mask, you know what i mean .. some kind of mistery... overall, good idea
    keep writing and thanks for sharing and if you have time please take a look to my writings i really appreciate it is you leave some comments
    peace and love
    take care
    and have a nice day
    Victor
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the message behind this piece, that with the mask you can be more real than without the mask, but you're right, you need to work on the technical aspect of it.

    Great job:)
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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