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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: my questioning heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: secretdream0
    ASL Info:    21/f/tx
    Elite Ratio:    3.38 - 48/46/22
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 745
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 648



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmy questioning heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    don't tempt me with your kisses
    unless your love is true
    don't beckon me with open arms
    if you want a love that's new.
    at the sight of you my heart soars,
    my pulse is beating fast,
    but a cautious voice warns;
    "seek a love that lasts"
    i've been through so many heartaches.
    i've known the depths of pain.
    i don't need a another love scene
    where the sunshine turns to rain.
    though i'll give love to last forever,
    i can only give to one.
    will i find with you my everything?
    my moon, my stars, my sun???




    Submitted on 2006-04-06 01:19:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a very good poem, I liked the imagery.
    please keep writing, from what I have read of yours thus far, I really like it.

    Samantha
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by Sharati_hottie | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this, i love how you have picked up on the difference between love and lust, some believe they are in love but soon realise they're wrong
    Great write
    Thanks
    John
    x
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      In this poem, it seems as though you've been hurt and are wanting someone who will be everything that you haven't had. It's a good poem, it gets straight to the point, i like it. :)
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by Scarlett Rose | [ Reply to This ]
      that was really wonderful! Swear I can't think of one thing wrong with it, it just sounds so wonderful, smooth, and beautiful.
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the like the line " I dont need another love scene where the sunshine turns to rain" and that was about the only line I thought was good...I think I was confused. Is this poem about a potential lover who you are questioning giving you heart to? I think my problem was I felt there was no imagery and no passion. I am all for love poems but make us see how scared you are or how confused. Imagery is your friend. Read some of my poems and if you want my help I think I can do that. But keep writing. I hope that didnt sound mean it is supposed to be constructive.
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by haileebobailee | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a good read. It rhymed well with an easy to relate to topic.
    I ask the same question all the time. "will i find with you my everything?"
    I think love is more complex then one question.
    Although the word everything, sums it up reall well..
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by SinCeer05 | [ Reply to This ]


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    98066

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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