Description: What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?
my questioning heart -------------------------------------------
don't tempt me with your kisses
unless your love is true
don't beckon me with open arms
if you want a love that's new.
at the sight of you my heart soars,
my pulse is beating fast,
but a cautious voice warns;
"seek a love that lasts"
i've been through so many heartaches.
i've known the depths of pain.
i don't need a another love scene
where the sunshine turns to rain.
though i'll give love to last forever,
i can only give to one.
will i find with you my everything?
my moon, my stars, my sun???
I like the like the line " I dont need another love scene where the sunshine turns to rain" and that was about the only line I thought was good...I think I was confused. Is this poem about a potential lover who you are questioning giving you heart to? I think my problem was I felt there was no imagery and no passion. I am all for love poems but make us see how scared you are or how confused. Imagery is your friend. Read some of my poems and if you want my help I think I can do that. But keep writing. I hope that didnt sound mean it is supposed to be constructive.
This was a good read. It rhymed well with an easy to relate to topic. I ask the same question all the time. "will i find with you my everything?" I think love is more complex then one question. Although the word everything, sums it up reall well..