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    dots Submission Name: Sweetest suicidedots

    Author: WhErEaMi
    ASL Info:    16/f/nc
    Elite Ratio:    2.95 - 35/38/24
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 889
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1284


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    dotsSweetest suicidedots

    I would need this gun
    To complete my mission
    I would need this CD
    So I can listen
    A cell phone
    To say good bye
    For my cry
    This is the sweetest suicide
    A car
    So I can drive
    A pin and pad
    To leave a note
    To numb the pain
    To fuck up my brain
    Maybe coke
    To thin my veins
    This is the sweetest suicide
    To remember the good times
    A destination
    To do my crime
    The ocean
    Because I love it
    A watch
    To mark the time
    I can't make up my mind
    This is the sweetest suicide
    I feel the wind blowing up my sleeves
    The ocean water touching my knees
    The earth is so beautiful
    To bad I have to leave
    The tide is high
    I take a swim
    Now I start counting
    Down to my sin
    The gun is loaded
    My letters wrote
    Blues are playing
    I take a line of coke
    Calls are made
    Messages sent
    I hit this weed
    And take a sip
    Splatter my brains
    And fall into the ocean
    This is the sweetest suicide

    Submitted on 2006-04-06 08:28:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i liked it because it mixed everything i have to do with self only i even [censored] up sucide for myself, i can't die right so i enjoyed it and the drugs and the drinking in end it doesn't work for me sadly but i love the poem so yeah great write once again and i'm sorry if some of my comments are confusing i'am abit distrated and i can't spell worth a damn so yeah...-jess-
    | Posted on 2006-05-08 00:00:00 | by gothicgirl | [ Reply to This ]
      woah crazy goood
    fav part is: Alcohol
    To numb the pain
    To #### up my brain
    Maybe coke
    To thin my veins
    This is the sweetest suicide

    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by XvolcomXgirlX | [ Reply to This ]
      um...interesting...nice style..very unique..fast pace..it was really good....don't do drugs hun, they aren't good for you...you don't need to commit suicide you can always come talk to me..anyhows this was a really good write..hope to read more of your stuff..keep up the good work!! ^_^

    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. i dont even kno what to say. this is great. you are a VERY talanted writer. all around thsi is great. i really understand were ur coming from. ive done all the drugs tried all the ways but i guess dyeing wasnt worth it for me. i was almost there. but theres a point u realize that uve actually got something. but this is really good. and i look forward to reading more. good write.

    [[this is a fav]]
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by bleedinbabygrl8 | [ Reply to This ]
      you are a true artist and i've just fallen in love with you adn your poetry, this is so well written (besides pen is spelt pin) it's truly touching...i think of suicide often and this describes many of the things i wish i could do. plus i do drugs already so this really appeals to me. i love writting about suicide and reading about it so i don't do it and this makes me get a chill...like how i feel before during and after i cut all rolled into one...i know this sounds crazy but i hope you understand...
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]
      And fall into the ocean
    This is the sweetest suicide

    Just a suggestion, but to me, this part would sound better this way:

    I fall into the ocean
    This is the sweetest Suicide.

    Cause it in the poem itself, if the "narrator" were reading it, the Farewell Goodbye part would be read after they had died... doesn't really flow, but other than that, its wonderful keep up the good work!
    | Posted on 2006-04-06 00:00:00 | by precious_poetry | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Dark and deep. I loved it... All of it felt so good a fast paced. Very good.

    To remember the good times
    A destination
    To do my crime
    The ocean
    Because I love it

    That was my fav part. Kepp it up!

    | Posted on 2006-04-18 00:00:00 | by MascaraTears69 | [ Reply to This ]

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