To My Love by LongPastDead

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Submission Name: To My Love dots

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Author:	LongPastDead
Elite Ratio:	6.68 - 34/64/29
Words:	183

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	251
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	957

Description:
What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

To My Love dots

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Dear ----,

Why do you torment me like this? One day it seems that your love for me couldn't burn any more passionate and then you seem bored everytime we're together; your eyes wandering as if looking for something to cherish. Sometimes you make me feel special... Other times you make me feel completely useless! I want to strangle you! To choke the truth from you! Is it love or is it lust?! TELL ME! Your incompatant behavoir, how wise you may seem to be, rattles away at my mind! How can you miss my love when I bare it proudly on my sleeve, brightly in my eyes and endearingly in every smile I share! I'm here! I'm real! And I'm waiting! Look at me! See me as I am! And if after this you still feel nothing but a passing lust then fucking tell me! The missing answer eats away at my soul! So ether love me or leave me to heal, because I can't take this much more...

From,
----

Submitted on 2006-04-06 23:25:31 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  This is a very impassioned poem that speaks volumes in a single letter. Very well done in that regard. Also, I very much recognize, and appreciate the fact that you left a blank area where both signatures would be. Very smart, since it allows the reader to be able to imagine their own name in either of those spaces. This is the sort of poem that, a lot of people can relate to and understand, evidently.

This poem reminds me of the quote, “Love me or hate me, but spare me your indifference”. I can completely associate myself with this kind of writing too. They say that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, and it seems that whoever might be the receiver of this letter is pretty damn indifferent to the letter's author. It is quite a shame, isn't it; that in life, it is often the most deserving people who cannot help loving those who destroy them. Anyways, this poem is straightforward, and well written to boot. Great work.

-J
| Posted on 2007-12-09 00:00:00 | by Forest Saint | [ Reply to This ]
  i honestly have to say, with the date it was posted and all, makes me wonder. good writing though
| Posted on 2007-03-27 00:00:00 | by brz | [ Reply to This ]
  well
i think everybopdy has lived this situation with his/her boyfriend or girlfriend. it has happened many times to me (for not saying all the time lol ), so well i think you no not have to push anything i mean not letting your feelings control yourself , you have have to be calm and relax when that happens and try to talk to that person. well i guess you have here a writing with a very good potential, so try to organize it better and use some symbolism and stuff like that
thanks for sharing and take care
have a nice day
peace and love
Victor
| Posted on 2007-02-28 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
  I EFFING LOVE THIS POEM! I REALLY DO!
It seems that your little letter struck a nerve here I cant stop thinking about how well you have described the feelings that i have had time and time again, my hands are shaking here and my heart is skipping beats, when you said " Is it love or is it lust?! TELL ME!" I cringed inside my tummy tied in knots and i identified so well on how you described your feelings, I just wish i could say some 'improvement feedback' but i simply can't this piece is simply perfect in every way IMHO, please would you do another letter like this perhaps one from the "Bored" lover?
<3TheGentlemanWhore
| Posted on 2006-05-23 00:00:00 | by SlanderousLust | [ Reply to This ]
  Hm, I really liked this piece. There were a few typos, and a few lines that could've been better but overal it was an enjoyable read. The emotion given off by the piece is so crystal clear. And I felt sad for you, Im not sure if you're been through that kinda of experience with someone but if not you're really good at writing about it. But it does seem like you've been in love, or married even!

And I don't paste lines I like, it's tacky, but :D:D:D There were a few. It's short, but not lacking anything needed to get the message you're trying to send to the reader. All in all, great work! And I look forward to future pieces by you! Take care!
| Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by heartlessname | [ Reply to This ]
  lol... hmm... well, in oreder to establish whether or not i love you, we must establish what love is... hmm... that's kinda hard... what love is can be many things... so, really each and every person has thier own interpretation of what love is... so, really, you're just left to interpret the intentions of my acts.
so, here we go:
i do often notice other women... hmm... kinda [censored]ed... but, i point them out to you... you seem to enjoy as well... to tell you the truth, whether or not you enjoy, i'll still check women out... just won't tell you about it.
i spend as much time as i can with you... making you the true center of my schedule...
but the other side of spending as much free time as i can with you, is i often don't go home and clean up for you... which isn't too special, now is it?
but then i do things for you that no one else gets... can you guess how many women... or people at all i've taken back stage? none. that's a big part of my ego... and i made you a part of that... do you know how many women i've taken to the fly? none... because that's MY place of escape, and independence, and elitism... and yet, you were made a part of that.
now, granted, there are a lot of times when i'm tired, and really just wanna go home and sleep for a few........years.... but i spend that time with you, because time with you is that important... it's not that i don't value you or that i don't care, it's more along the lines of i value you and care soo much that i'm pushing every last drop of energy to you....
so, really, take it as you will... i'f you need to let go, then i need time to heal as well... but i will not blame you for letting go... it's really more important for you to be happy, and if you feel that i can't do that for you, then i'm sorry. but really, sadly, if that is the case, then all i have is appologies, and appologies are really good to/for no one
but as to the piece it's self, it hit's hard... finishes soft and open ended, as if looking for this response
| Posted on 2006-04-08 00:00:00 | by DontSaveMySoul | [ Reply to This ]
  hey..you know what?sometimes we think love is pure torture...but i guess it's all just a contradiction....you get pain and pleasure..it's like a dance..you must be synchronized..it's weird right?i guess we've yet to know what love is..???
| Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by EsCaPisT | [ Reply to This ]
  Actually, this reminded me of the song from RENT, "Love me or leave me?" I don't know if you know what I'm talking about. But, you should definitely check it out.

Now, onto your piece...letter. Work of art I should call it. It flowed nicely. Heh, there's someone I'd like to actually give something like this to right now. I don't know what to say about it other than the word usage and the protraying of wearing your heart on your sleeve really, really got to me. I mean you can love someone so much and just have them walk all over you. Play you off those feelings....string you along. Pisses yah off doesn't it?

Thanks again for everything!

BCute<3
| Posted on 2006-08-26 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very passionate Write
I know you are feeling better after writing this
I hope this write falls into the hands of who it was intended for
It would really help to heal to breaking hearts
Great Work
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  It seem you were with a person who played mind games with you. It is a good thing you are not with him now. This was more of a letter, so I don't know how to critique this at all. So I will you worded this well, and it has potential to become a true poem. Nice work.

Maggie
| Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! This is totally how I feel about this guy that I am with.He makes a promise to be over to spend time with me but always ends up breaking it.I dont understand if he loves me or lust for something he can't have.
I am confused! I am angery,hurt !
And kinda how you put it wanting to choke the truth out of him.I don't know what to do!
I think I love him but I am not sure he feels the same and if he does he has a poor way of showing it by breaking his promies and on top of that I was stuped and gave in to him and now i am pregnet.
What would you do if you were in my shoes,
Since we can relate so well.
Sorry for my rambbling but I have not found someone that can get strait to the point and
wow!
By the way I am Jane
| Posted on 2006-06-21 00:00:00 | by totojane03 | [ Reply to This ]
  You put a lot of emotion into this and I enjoyed reading it. It must be difficult to be in the position which you are right now. I had a crush on one of my best friends once, and it was torture. I don't like to risk friendship in such a way; so I didn't even tell her. It's shocking how love can negatively affect a persons life. What I liked about this was that it was different from those pessimistic writes. I liked how you included passion in all this. Well written; and sorry I don't have any suggestions. Maybe when I eat something, I will

Abbas
| Posted on 2006-09-23 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]

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