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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: From Afardots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dandan
    ASL Info:    19/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 604/323/49
    Words: 285
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 217
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1864



    Description:
       For my love...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFrom Afardots
    -------------------------------------------


    Listen to these words:



    I slip them between my lips
    And scribble them onto the page.

    For you, my dear.

    I rip them from my tongue
    In their silent protests.
    Should they try to shy back
    Where they may never go again,
    It would be in vain:

    They cannot hide from you, my dear.

    I stutter sweet romances
    Upon your name;
    I sigh its meaning
    In every pause.

    My angel,
    My love...

    There is no way I may
    Inhale these phrases
    Back into non-existence.
    I exhale,
    And I breathe my love

    For you, my dear.

    I choke back these tears -
    I will not let you see them
    Escape...
    I will not let you hear them
    Slide
    Down
    Deep into my

    Thoughts

    Scream through my mind
    I cannot hear
    Anything, but the sound of you
    Singing my name
    And that’s all I want to hear:

    Your voice, my dear.

    Crush me in your warm embrace;
    I long for the feeling.

    Three months smells of eternity, love.
    Two years proves rank
    If they should not be spent with you.

    Each minute scrapes
    Its presence against
    The face of the clock,

    The calendar flips through
    Aimlessly
    Until the day

    My dear

    That we shall meet again.

    Bold those things I can’t define,
    Place my patience in parenthesis
    (It can wait).
    The aroma of our feelings
    Is too sweet to ignore

    Feed me
    Morsels of what it tastes
    To love you




    From afar.




    Submitted on 2006-04-07 00:00:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this, but would suggest to change the imagery in your third line to "And kiss them onto the page" to continue the imagery of them coming from your lips...

    There were times where this was a bit cluttered with redundancy...maybe it could be condensed a little...otherwise, very good!

    Take care,

    ~B~
    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      Feed me
    Morsels of what it tastes
    To love you

    From afar.

    I love these lines. This is a great poem... It so wonderfully captures how difficult it is to be without the person you love.

    Listen to these words:

    I slip them between my lips
    And scribble them onto the page.

    For you, my dear.

    This is a bittersweet poem. It makes me think of a writer that has fallen madly in love (or just utter infatuation) with someone and for some reason cannot bring themselves to do anything about it but love this person from afar...Wonderful job...beautifully written!
    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]



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