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Sunrise


Author: zhi wei
ASL Info:    17, Male, Malaysia.
Elite Ratio:    6.14 - 171 /203 /53
Words: 160
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1091
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1102



Description:


sunrise gives me memories.


Sunrise



Sunrise
is ever-shining,
as the dawn breaks
into pieces of imprecision;
beams of brilliance,
as it scatters away the shadow
of the fleeting night.

But it is not the music of escape
that echoes in my ears;
In this moment
it is a welcoming sort of song
of daylight
drawing near.

O, even with the surrender of the stars
I smile,
to have the darkness drowned
And the sunlight’s kiss
like foremost breath
is one like no other;

it is a swish of sound
after a prolonged silent suffering;

a second of sight
when all is blind and broken;

a short-lived scent
a field of the fairest flowers;

a transitory taste
yet so tantalizing to the tongue;

a trivial touch
which breaks the walls
of this cold, uncaring heart;

And all is at once
found;
as I smile to see
the sunrise
ever-shining
in your eyes.




Submitted on 2006-04-07 09:21:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  carpe diem! The love of the rebirth of the day.

"But it is not the music of escape
that echoes in my ears;
In this moment
it is a welcoming sort of song
of daylight
drawing near."

You are really painting a triumphant picture of the emotions that arise for you with the sight of the sun.

The section where you start each stanza with:
"It is a...a..." The first read it was sort of fragmented to me. But upon a second read I found that quite the opposite. This divergence in the form lead to focusing on getting a full perspective of the sun in your eyes.

i dug it. simple and sweet.

nice write.
| Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by googie | [ Reply to This ]
  ahh yes, the sunrise- quite romantic. always to the east! a wonderful ode to the night's defeat. a sunrise... this one seems more like a nature piece (but thats just probably me, ive been seeing nature pieces everywhere.) but very still very human, and retains the very romantic notions.

you weave it masterfully from beginning to end, and you sound like a meastro during rehearsals in front of an orchestra, and then, your audience arrives:

"And all is at once
found;
as I smile to see
the sunrise
ever-shining
in your eyes."

that last stanza was just a sublime touch, and one can tell you were meticulous of your word choice in the senses. the more i read it, the more i see the maestro conducting the sunrise itself. his baton striking the air and leaving saffron streaks with every swift swish of his skilled hand.

a truly fine write.

peace.

-pietro
| Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]


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