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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Insomniadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 834
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 779



    Description:
       this is my insomniac writings... can't sleep hadda write--i couldn't even program for heavan's sake. what do you think, any comments are fine.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsInsomniadots
    -------------------------------------------


    I can't sleep
    I'm an insomniac
    avoiding the reason
    cuz i can't look back

    I can't pretend
    it'll be alright
    i can't return to
    those thoughts again tonight

    innocence in those eyes
    like my eyes once were
    dreams of happiness
    that no mistakes can blur

    you come and then you go
    you return carelessly
    you expect me to know
    our future waits on me

    our future can wait
    til the end of time if it must
    an emotional-mind debate
    and i don't know which to trust

    emotionally I am weak
    mentally I am strong
    too much for me to sleep
    I can't decide the wrong




    Submitted on 2006-04-07 14:30:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this poem....sometimes i can't sleep because i've got a thousand things on my mind....great job...
    -Amber-
    | Posted on 2008-03-20 00:00:00 | by never_far_away | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, this one was pretty good. Though it was confusing. I think I know what it is about. You and this person. This person is innocent while you are not. And you protect this person?
    But you can't sleep because of troubled thoughts and problems?
    Maybe you can fix it a little more, to make it clear. Though I'm curious, can you tell me what it is about?
    Thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2007-09-23 00:00:00 | by emoxday | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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