Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: teach her rightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: myonlysalvation
    Elite Ratio:    2.11 - 41/48/42
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 675
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1245



    Description:
       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsteach her rightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tell her all the rainbows
    all the colors that the rain throws

    Mother did you teach your daughter right
    do you think she'll find her way alright?

    did you teach her that all her happiness lies within her
    that love comes and go's
    without a face
    not to give her heart
    away so easily

    & did you stand your ground
    when she ran out?

    do you think you taught your daughter right.mother.
    did you give to her all your strength

    did you show her that she could build things up,
    and that she could also tear them down

    & did you stand your ground
    when she fell down

    did you take her the long & winding road
    tell her to find her way back home?

    did you show her that the sky is endless
    show her that the stars hold wishes?

    does she know all the treasures her little
    heart can hold
    does she know about the hardest and easiest path to go?

    and that you'll be there for her at the end of the road?

    show her all the rainbows
    all the colors that the rain throws.




    Submitted on 2006-04-07 15:26:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      hi bubz, this was well i dont know the right words to say, it was beautiful, i loved it, its all the things i think a mother should share with a daughter, i wish my mum had shared these things with me, dont get me wrong i love my mum, she just wasnt a maternal person, so thise things i had to find for myself, thatnx for sharing
    x x x x
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]
      what a beautiful poem it actually brought tears to my eyes thinking of my own daughter. I loved the strength of your poem. Your insight to motherhood is incredible " does she know about the hardest and the easiest path to go? and that you will be there for her at the end of the road" You must be a very amazing mother and if you aren't a mother yet your children will be blessed An amazing emotional piece well done
    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by meandmyshadow2 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    98303

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry