[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Childhood Dreamsdots

    Author: prettybaby
    Elite Ratio:    6.59 - 191/194/59
    Words: 291
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 1019
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2030


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChildhood Dreamsdots

    Another summer night
    Spent down the road,
    Fighting for covers
    In that big double bed.
    The fan blowing its soft breeze
    Ruffling our youthful hair.

    Do you remember all the nights
    We stayed up past the sun?
    Whispering beneath the covers
    Until the world seemed miles away.

    Another summer day,
    Digging in the clay and mud.
    It cakes under our nails
    As we make "frog hotels"
    On the edge of the pond.
    I step in carefully
    And sink my whole leg
    Into the muck I am trying to scoop.

    Do you remember all the days
    We romped around the green yard?
    Barefoot, careless...children, friends,
    Burning our feet on the black pavement.

    Another year gone by;
    Fun-shaped sponges
    And pie-tins of paint
    Scattered across a table.
    We stamp our creativity
    Onto white T-shirts
    (Yours is the frilly one).
    Mine sits quietly in my closet.

    Do you remember on that day
    The sun that shone for you?
    As the children came to celebrate
    A year of life to come.

    Another time, another year;
    Recess on the playground.
    We play make-believe
    Until reality, in all its harshness
    Wedges its way between us.
    Your longing glances at the other side
    Where the "cool kids" stand
    Can no longer bear your inaction.
    Despite my whining and protest,
    You cross the line to a new level,
    Ending our friendship in those few steps.

    Do you remember all the time
    We lived as friends forever?
    Well, life is cruel, and this I knew:
    There would be no turning back.

    The special world that once was ours
    Dissolved in melancholy
    The day that you decided
    All our time could be discarded
    And you needed a new strategy:
    Life without me.

    Submitted on 2006-04-07 17:05:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A very strong piece I believe. I like this especially because I can relate to these games you played as a child. The times I had with friends, playing together, the days seeming endless, and the nights staying up, sharing spooky stories and eating endless amounts of candy. I also can relate to you on the part talking about staring at the "cool kids". I used to do that also when I was a kid.

    Im not sure if this counts, but I had a dear friend once. He was my best friend, and we had alot of fun together. Playing make believe and all that junk. Then the summer after 6th grade came along and he found drugs. I went along with him for a short while, then everything broke between us. Ice was apart of his life instead of me and that bond we once had, shattered infront of both of our eyes. My eyes the only ones who cared, his eyes never flinched. I see him from time to time now, and we only say "whats up" and shakes hands, then go about our business. I speak out this friend in my poem "I am" I believe. Thank you for this personal piece, I liked it alot. :)

    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by irish storm | [ Reply to This ]
      I went through this same thing (i think at least the way i perceived it) my mom explained to me it was growing up and personalities changing, im not really sure it still sucked pretty bad. Anyways thanks for sharing your feeling you did good ta conveying feeling and different scenarios. Ciao for now and talk to you soon, amber
    | Posted on 2006-04-07 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]