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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: That was then and this is nowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 627
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1200



    Description:
       This is about my cousin, Shes been getting in trouble with everything lately. I just want her to be safe and at home. I love her with all my heart


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThat was then and this is nowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember when we were young. Innocent and free. I remember our picnics and I remember the stories we made. I remember those times we stayed up all night laughing and talking about how weird boys could be. But that was then and this is now.

    I remember when we were 12, sleep overs almost every weekend. Talking about people we knew and dances we went to. We were up all night laughing and talking about how cute Lance was from N'sync. But that was then and this is now.

    Now I hardly see you anymore. I know you love me and I love you, because that's what cousins do. You have your friends and I have mine. I still dream about those nights we use to have, staying up and laughing. But this is now and I wish it would end.

    I see you now; your world is a mess. Fallen in with the wrong crowd. I've heard stories about you that I just refuse to believe. I hate knowing that you are tearing your life apart for just one more line, just for one last pill. It kills me to know this was the same little girl who use to have picnics with her teddy bear, stay up all night laughing and talking about boys. But that was then and this is now.




    Submitted on 2006-04-09 00:04:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I can't relate to this. I've never been the one mourning for the one getting into trouble, I've always just been the one getting into trouble. I never understood why people always felt bad for my mistakes, and after reading your peice... I still don't. You explain well what you feel for this person, but you never actually explain why you feel this way. You were good friends, yes, wonderful, but I'm looking for more than that. Why is it that you care so much about her mistakes? This aspect of friendship confuses me. I jsut want some insight.

    As for the peice, I don't really have anything that i can comment on. It was more like a few short prose than an actual poem. It didn't really rhyme at all, there was no meter, all that. I like this peice for what it is, a peice without classification. I dunno, I gues I'm just wierd like that.

    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-09-03 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      "I can relate! Great write! Love the [[flow, wording, rhyme]]. You rock!!!" i was jokin!!!! lol i can definatly relate to your work like nosferofu though you show the feeling of the poem not just the seriousness of it
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by crazijessi | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate.Very real.Deep and honest.Organization is odd but its nice to have some individuality.Anyway...keep it up and I hope to see more.^_^
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Interesting yet complex. Im sorry it has been so long since I took at look at your work, but here I am. Trying to make amends. Anyways... this was a good piece. People changing right before your eyes is a rough thing to deal with especially if they take a wrong turn. Makes me think about the people I affect this way... Doing the things I do... This piece has given me some insentive to not make the people I care for feel bad for the actions on my plate. I like how real this write is. Just plain and natural, which works well. Good job.

    Kairo
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by Saint | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate with this poem. Even if I am a guy. I definatly have had friends and loved ones slip into the wrong crowd. And I didn't want to believe it either. But it happens, and it's sad.

    -- Jason Clement
    | Posted on 2006-08-03 00:00:00 | by Jason_Clement | [ Reply to This ]


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