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September 16, 2005
That the day I see when tears fall
Six months without you here
No smile, nor laughs ever the same
Of the one you always had
You could always find a way
To cheer me up when I was down
You sit me straight
Man I need you know
Pink is the color that makes me think or you
Seeing everything one year ago
Doesn’t seem like reality now
I never knew what you were to me
Until you left this world
Things are much different now
No one has the same time
Missing you dearly
And wishing you were here now
Even though I know you are in a better place
God, I just wish to see your face
And know that you’re ok
Just trying to get by without you
You’re my best friend.
| I can sympathize with this piece especially well. My friend Nathan Day died on September 17, 2005 in a car accident. I wrote a lot about the way that I felt afterwards. It is just this big void in my life. I am so sorry about your friend. I believe that Nathan knows how I feel about him, I am sure that Christopher knows exactly what you think about him. I hope you can find solace.|
|| Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ] || im also sorry for you friend. and well this must have been a hard poem to write, not in strucutre or idea but as in emotional. good job, somethings are real hard to write about without tears, im not sure if the poem it great id say take a secong look and tie it together a littel more.||| Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by crazzybeautiful | [ Reply to This ] || I'm very sorry about your best friend...it's horrible, and I know how you feel. My best friend may still be alive, but I'm as good as dead to him because of something I told him about myself....|
But anyway, this was a beautiful poem. I enjoyed every bit of it.
Keep up the good work.
|| Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ] || Pretty good poem..very sorry for your loss, and i know in cases like this it's not very nice to talk about the flow, but it could've been better. That's the only fault I can find. The poem is straightforward,describes feelings very well and goes straight to the soul.|
Again, sorry you're passing through this.
|| Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by Angie444 | [ Reply to This ] || I'm sorry that your bestfriend died. That is very sad, its hard to lose someone. I thought the poem was pretty good all around. It seemed kind of choppy. I really like the first stanza, it seems to be the strongest. When I read September 16..I thought of my friend, because thats her birthday. :( Also, in the first stanza you might want to change KNOW to now. Its sad when we lose someone, last year a 15 yr old got hit by a car in my town. It was the saddest, everyone felt it even though they didn't know them. Keep up the good work!|
|| Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ] || Hey,|
It's me, Bethany. From school. I semi-know you I think. haha I think I know your face. Gosh, it was so heartbreaking when Chris died. I wrote a piece for him too. It's called Inbetween. I also wrote a piece for Jade, called Jade. This year has been so crazy hasn't it?
I like this yet you have a few minor mistakes. :D Line 9 it should be "set" instead of "sit". Also on line 10 it needs to be "now" instead of "know". On line 11 I think you meant "of" instead "or you".
My favorite line "I never knew what you were to me/Until you left this world". It's sad that it takes death to really know how much someone means to you...but it's happened a lot this year! Oh well, we are all going to get through this together. I still can't believe what happened to Casey. . . :(
Well, take care. This is a really heart-felt piece. Keep on writing. And be safe!!
|| Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ] |