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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Magicdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wewak11
    Elite Ratio:    3.8 - 3436/3630/329
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1465
    Average Vote:    4.6667
    Bytes: 927



    Description:
       For Chello


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMagicdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i met a girl with avocado eyes
    and bells in her voice
    she sang to flowers
    and whispered to mountain-tops
    and she believed in magic

    she taught me the language
    of a creek’s chatter
    and showed me how
    to call each bird a name
    to remember who they were

    i made friends with
    blades of green grass
    and it seemed i always kept
    a pebble in my pocket
    because she told me they were lonely

    she taught me how
    to blow a kiss to a rainbow
    fall in love with a toadstool
    hear a tree’s heartbeat
    and read a butterfly’s secret diary

    she danced instead of walking
    she laughed and the clouds heard it
    she left me in a sun-soaked field
    of impossible orchids
    and i believe in magic







    Submitted on 2006-04-09 16:30:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem is a dance, a dream, a picture of all things beautiful in the world. Thank you for capturing the essence of Wonder and Magic. Another Favorite...
    ~Alexander
    | Posted on 2006-06-02 00:00:00 | by Alexander Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      The beautiful woman that inspires us all. The magic has always been there, you just have to stop to feel it.

    Another fave.

    Brightest Blessings,
    Crystal
    | Posted on 2006-05-12 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
      You still make my heart flutter, friend, and my eyes grow soft for just a moment.
    I could say that you never cease to amaze me, but I won't.
    I could say that you never let me down with your words of art, but I won't.
    I could tell you that your work makes my world a little more glittery, but that would be too girly for me, so I won't.

    You make me smile. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with a pebble. I never knew they were lonely before.

    Always,
    ~Rachel~
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by nebnim | [ Reply to This ]
      Very magical indeed! We all need a little magic in our lives and I enjoyed this piece because of the child-like magical view - one that is very close to how I look at life and treat nature as part of that life.
    I don't have anything that doesn't have a rock in it - pocket, purses, truck, he he he
    I'll take life through magical and kaleidescope eyes anyday!
    love,peace,joy&smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This gave me chills. It truly was a magical poem and I loved it. The omagery was fab and i loved that the pebbles were lonely. This is truly my kind of poem Thanks

    Had to add that I also like the way you laid out the stanzas and the lines.
    xxxxxxxxxxx
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by elephantasia | [ Reply to This ]
      Amazing imagery Graeme! I felt I was there learning all these things as well from this girl. I like the format of this poem. It was easy to follow along with and it encourage the reader to keep reading. I love the way you made it all seem so mystical and fun. I could not find anything for you to improve upon, so I will simply say I loved this and it is a fav now.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      A wonderful write.
    This even made ME feel magical.
    We should all have at least one person in our lives that can help us "see" the magic in the world around us.
    I'm glad you have yours.

    A very enjoyable read.
    Makes me want to look around and find something magical.

    I really like the look/form/structure you used here.

    Unique!
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      Sometimes in this world, we find it so hard to stay positive. We get jaded and cynical. Then we meet someone who embraces life to the fullest and we become in awe of them. They change our whole perspective in life. Magic doesn't seem so to be so improbable after all. It surrounds us instead. I love the message you portray here. Your imagery is flawless. The only thing I would do is add some punctuation. So the wonderful sentences don't run into each other.

    Swanne
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Swanne | [ Reply to This ]
      This is one that I'll have to fav Graeme. It was beautiful from the beginning and I was just in awe of the imagery and place that my mind was led to. Very peaceful and well, magical. So I'll just say....you wrote another fantastic piece!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      So graceful. It is impressive to see the sympathetic side come out in you. Most of the time I only see your comic pieces. Then again....I stink at commenting so many of your writes may have gone overlooked.....in which I deeply apologize for.

    *clears throat* Didn't mean to ramble there 'ol chap....

    This was a wonderful write. You definitely had me wondering to a land of make believe fulfilled with magic and wilderness. I was very entwined with all of the thought that you put into this. Make me smile and temporarily feel care free!

    Great job!

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      A beautiful piece, Graeme. One that catches you from the beginning and draws you, ever so softly, on through the piece.

    I found it interesting that you expounded on "she" and yet kept the personal pronoun "I" in the lower, diminuitive case. Perhaps suggesting the "i" isn't good enough? hmmmm.

    The only suggestion I could hope to pull together after this, the sixth read through, would be to add the word 'now' in the last line:

    "and now i believe in magic"

    That way, it suggests that you hadn't believed before this woman got you to open up and see the wonders and magics of the world.

    A beautiful way to remind all of us to stop, smell, the flowers, and take a minute to enjoy the magic of our senses.

    I simply loved this piece!

    Take Care!

    Chell
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      beautiful...simply beautiful..it amazes me how some people cant realize you can do anything if you simply believe...if you believe you can achieve anything...once again your poems always seem to have a message and not just pointless ranting of a teen depressant...lol...anyhow loved the poem
    <3 krin
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Krinchinian | [ Reply to This ]
      Im still lost in a daydream, this was apsolutly incredable (its late, so dont really care about spelling sorry) I feel like i was sucked into one of amy browns paintings, like I was in a world of fairys, and well magic. This girl you where talking about really brought back memories of the movie pochohantes blah spelling. One of the best my good sir one of the best! 5 flying kisses out of 5. Keep writing I think I will keep reading.
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by DiamondTears | [ Reply to This ]
      You have walked away from this one with much knowledge. To have magic back in our lives, and I do say "have back" because I believe we are all born with it, but unused, we forget and when we discover again the beautiful world it's amazing what is opened up to us

    Again you have written something that I can really get into to...I found my magic again not too long ago also.
    Another great one, oh great Sir Graeme
    lnl
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by ravenwolf68 | [ Reply to This ]
      does not magic do such wonderful things even bows itself to the poets heart,making images and words come together with such grace,you did a really grand job on this on Graeme,I found it rather relaxing to read keep up the grand writes
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece is beautiful. I expected no less from you. You are very good with words and have a lot to say. That what I like about your writings. I was relaxing in a way. How you combined nature and emotion. Giving an audiece a clear picture of the beauty being depicted. Well done.

    Kairo.
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by Saint | [ Reply to This ]
      Graeme, another side I hadn't seen of you. Very nice. I enjoyed to fantasy like landscape that if we'd all just slow down and take some time to really see our surroundings, we could enjoy such a fantasy for real. Guess this is why poetry is so special. It reminds us to look around.
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by wishmaster1256 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is refreshing, Graeme, and so innocent and sweet. it makes me think of Whimsy... perhaps that's her name.. she sees all the beauty in life and believes in magic. sometimes it's hard to believe in magic in this world of aching.. but i needed to read this today to remind me that i can be like her.. i think we all have a piece of her deep inside of us, we just need to find her and let her run free.

    beautiful, and a new fave.

    peace,
    ~Cat
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this!! It had great imagery and a lot of emotion, two very important things. It was descriptive and i just loved how u worded it. The ending was a good one. Very nice!!!
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]
      I always enjoy reading your work. You put a certain level of feeling into each piece that helps to bring it alive for the reader. allowing them to feel and understand the emotions.

    sometimes it almost feels as if you could smell the crisp of the mountain air or taste the purity of the flowing rivers.

    I also enjoyed the brief yet descriptive stanzas which lead to the final beautiful outcome!!!

    Another job very nicely done!!!

    Meow!!!
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by lynxstarfire | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my GOSH! I just love this poem! There is nothing more to say. Sincerely!
    | Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by Visi | [ Reply to This ]
      wonder is to the soul as the skeletal structure is to the body. what an incredible poem. how it touch my heart and sent me dreaming. wonder is my passion and i have apprehended her by way of your work once again. i am reminded of a c.s. lewis quote that goes "someday we will be old enough to read fairy tales".
    your poem brings this home. calling the birds by name, whispering to the mountains. excellent, just excellent.
    i will always look at a peeble in a whole new way thanks to your work.
    ~john-paul
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by rev.jpfadeproof | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the mystical setting- i am feeling light weighted by the mood you set with this poem. She must be a really extrordinary free spirited girl who appreciates and admire the beauty this Universe displays. *Really magical*

    Keep spreading the love
    Nadia*
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by AfricanPrincess | [ Reply to This ]
      i was referred to this poem by a friend and boy, am i glad! there is so much to this poem that i love. i could go on and on pointing every great feature of this lovely piece. i liked how the beginning of the poem started with just her believing and then the poem ended with you believing. magic is contagious and its a wonderful sentiment. i am enjoying your work tremendously.
    ~cynthia
    | Posted on 2006-06-02 00:00:00 | by Sacred Sindy | [ Reply to This ]
      This is so gorgeous, Its up there with my favs. It's just left me feeling like... aaahhhhhh :)
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by cerberus74 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    98498

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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