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    dots Submission Name: The Untended Gardendots

    Author: mugsy
    ASL Info:    68/M/Sooke/ B.C./Can.
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 138/106/35
    Words: 41
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 823
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 330

       "Just some thoughts I had while viewing an old house which used to have a magnificent garden, until the gentleman passed away. His widow was unable to keep it up and she missed him dearly....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Untended Gardendots

    The weeds grew tall
    Neath the garden wall,
    Its stones
    Once carefully
    Now cracked
    And green with moss,
    The old man gone now
    Unable to care,
    Yet she notices
    These things
    Of his passing,
    And sheds,
    A silver tear....

    Submitted on 2006-04-09 18:24:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      awww this is very sadly true of how life without the other half of you and the person you shared everything with has a huge affect on your life........the little things they once did cause the deepest pain of lonliness and the mourning of their presence .......
    I loved this it was short and yet very powerful....great imagery....i could see her gazing out her window and thinking how the garden would still be beautiful if he were still here....like looking out to her world now he is no longer with her....waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa very moving piece ....i really enjoyed readiing this pumpkin....keep up the great works
    Lotsaluv and God Bless
    | Posted on 2006-04-23 00:00:00 | by lostspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is written beautifully. I wouldn't change it at all. The imagery is great as Silence said, but I do feel some emotion in your words. This reminds me of my own grandparents. They are both in their late 80's. I can remember playing in their beautiful garden, and chasing butterflies. They can't care for it anymore, and most everything is dead. It is sad. Missing the beauty in life.
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      Good thing about it is that it had good imagery and its descriptive. Its free verse and i like that. These lines were sort of unclear: These things
    Of his passing,

    I also didnt get much emotion from this...some during the beginning but then it turned hollow towards the end...
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]

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