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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Middledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jester_Gesture
    ASL Info:    23/f
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 365/459/201
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 1096
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1131



    Description:
       I realized today that I have, sadly, been manipulated. I have given away my secrets and my vulnerabilties, my kiss and my innocence. [but not all of it!] I know I will be okay. But I don't feel very okay.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Middledots
    -------------------------------------------


    Staggering aimlessly, blindly, I
    reattempt. Clutching desperately at
    the person I once was.
    The person I believe I was.
    I cannot resist when I say Iím improving.
    Itís fun to admit that I am
    not as flawless as I wish I could be.
    But this is simply one step away from
    the righteousness Iíve fought for,
    Iím clinging to a lie I told myself.
    I find no balance between
    a falling back to ignorance
    or a stumble into a vulnerable future.
    I am just here, in the middle.
    Teetering, hands feebly grasping at
    a ghost of honesty; exhausted semblances
    of passion; a weak impression of
    my brilliance, which now appears
    as a quickly fading shadow.
    This vertigo causes me to believe
    I have no choice but to let it fade.
    Yet, I try. I reach, and I stretch out
    this thin exuse for consciousness.
    And the question freed from my chest
    is stolen away into the unknown;
    I hope, breathless, that someone may
    hear my cry of, "Which way?"




    Submitted on 2006-04-09 20:37:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Okay, so, I'm like 2 months late with this comment...seeing as how you and I have talked about this and all. This is an awesome piece my dear! Although I still have my kiss, I have given away pieces of my that part of my wishes I could have back. But I can't. I know that you don't need my advice. Just the fact that you wrote this proves it. Again, beautiful piece. See you tomorrow! Luvs,
    Hannah
    | Posted on 2006-06-01 00:00:00 | by AngelOutlaw | [ Reply to This ]
      hey i think this was very well crafted considering that what you were trying to express is rather tough to fit into words... i really liked the choice of words here.. very adpatly choosen... and yes i think you have managed to bring out the essence of the whole situation.. well done....
    and as far as the feelings go... things do go wrong.. you need them to go wrong otherwise how would you be able to appreciate all the right that happens.. its ok!
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by nnehriya | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, Firstly i'm sorry that things are'nt cool for you at the moment and it's a shame cos i just read 'a great slumber' and its a stark contrast to how happy you were then . i take it something happened betweeen then and now?...I do like how this is written, its a tragic place to be.... in the middle of something and not knowing which way to turn for the best... so many options but none seem for you, right?
    A big pat on the back though for writing this and letting all share the pain
    Thank you
    John
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by hammyj | [ Reply to This ]
      hopeless are you.well according to the hopeless statement that you have given to read i would rather concieve that you wither lost you virginity or you are dumped
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      I can grasp a sence of being lost and losing yourself in this.......
    The first couple of line I think, would be more .... if they were more cut up. to Really show the staggering
    aimlessley,
    blindly,
    ....
    Just me though.?
    Anyhow, I really did enjoy how freely you could explain some of the feelings you have on what you once where and where you are now.
    | Posted on 2006-04-09 00:00:00 | by isis_lenore | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is about direction. My take on it is that you were relating the feeling of being at a sort of crossroads of life but not really having a clear concept of what any of the "paths" actually will result in. Perhaps even a little fear that staying on the wrong path for to long could compensate personal integrity to the poin tof having none. I like angsty young poetry. It is the language I speak best. Check out some of my stuff if you like.
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by nolram | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is about direction. My take on it is that you were relating the feeling of being at a sort of crossroads of life but not really having a clear concept of what any of the "paths" actually will result in. Perhaps even a little fear that staying on the wrong path for to long could compensate personal integrity to the poin tof having none. I like angsty young poetry. It is the language I speak best. Check out some of my stuff if you like.
    | Posted on 2006-06-25 00:00:00 | by nolram | [ Reply to This ]
      Ummm. I know how you feel, but the truth is, you can't go back and reattempt. ever read Frost - the road through the woods? Remindful... Anyway, I love the way you expressed the ideas. Description is absolutely brilliant and language masterful. Maybe though break it up into two stanzas?

    Good Luck,

    Shana.
    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by shana | [ Reply to This ]


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