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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: philosophydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unknown soldier
    ASL Info:    17/kenner, La (N.O)
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 1348/1346/203
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 785
    Average Vote:    1.0000
    Bytes: 1319



    Description:
       i wrote this one a while back and i decided to post it. i know i haven't posted in a little while. i called it philosophy because i put a few philosphers in it. there's no meaning behind this one. i was just flowing


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsphilosophydots
    -------------------------------------------


    Yo I sit under the Sword of Damocles spitting profanities
    Discard the boy to find the man in me
    A new brand of emcee is what I plan to be
    Close minded hypocrites are mocking me because I bring philosophies like Socrates
    Always question what youíre about to see
    Itís hard to stand with the whole world on top of me
    Resurrect the fossils of Plato and Aristotle just to see if they were hostile
    Confucius says as Confucius does
    Heís wasted
    Will he lose his head or lose his buzz?
    Trying to find the answers just because
    They may be the key to our salvation
    Donít lead me into temptation
    Because my lack of patience may lead me to be attacked by Haitians
    The gameís in need of a makeover
    This isnít halftime, breakís over
    Youíre all just zeroes, just place holders
    Iím on a decline as I race boulders
    Dumbasses think that Iím Harrison Ford
    Because I like to play Indiana Jones when Iím bored
    Swing swords and string chords
    Anything to keep busy
    Ring lords and kingsí hordes are all up against me
    Hold on to your sanity because you know Iíve got mine
    I hope you donít mind
    This is just a look into the mind of a kid who wished he was signed




    Submitted on 2006-04-09 23:03:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    2: I dunno...
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    ||| Comments |||
      THis was pretty good, and I get what you mean about just flowing.....I kinda connected to some of the wording in an offhadn way tho. overall pretty good write.....the title fits ok I guess....keep writing when u feel lyk it,
    jess
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad Troy. I like the names you dropped in this. I think your flow was good and the rhyming was good. I just did not like the line that says he is wasted and will he lose his head or his buzz. It seemed forced to me and it did not sound good with the rest of it. This was very good.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      hola!!!como estas? lil spanish for ya! this was good!! i reconized some of da names!! damn i need my inhaler hold on....iight im back!! anyway where waz I!? um....ok good job!!!rhymin was good flow was good! dont hav a problem wit it!good job!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      God damn, the flow one this shyt was amazing!

    Donít lead me into temptation
    Because my lack of patience may lead me to be attacked by Haitians
    The gameís in need of a makeover
    This isnít halftime, breakís over
    Youíre all just zeroes, just place holders
    Iím on a decline as I race boulders

    that shyt was tight as hell man, every part of this was real good
    | Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by maninthemirror | [ Reply to This ]
      THIS POEM SUCKS! REALLY REALLY SUCKS! Sorry that was really mean...but it's bad...real bad. You can't do those rhymes. Ya can't rhyme Aristotle with hostile. It doesn't work, it makes it so that it has no flow. The entire piece is choppy, like a freaking onion in mac in cheese. It's gross. Confucios is as Confucios does? he'll loose his buzz? Dude that's freaked up....seriously. Your consonance is good but way over used, it takes away from the flow. The philosophies are clashing and it's scatter brained. Although the poem ended well the beginning really really really really really REALLY SUCKS! Try again...ok take that back the first 75% sucked.

    Paco the Poet of Arson
    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ]


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