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There is no pleasure in creating when all that is made has little destiny, or difference with all that bends or breaks. And happy endings are only designs of a dispirited heart dejected, and restrains to fall apart into the waning memory of a stain O, all that is beautiful is so very plain, for beauty is but a manifestation of the mind; a small and minute spark of curiosity, which is only later dimmed into darkness cold and alone. And all hope eludes your intentions, which have finally found true and honest thoughts; and you drown, harping on your wishful thinking of power to at least, at last know pleasure to defeat to destroy to have ruined all that you knew and loved for they have now ruined you. O, the perfect chance has passed now they leave you in your silence. |
"There is no pleasure in creating when all that is made has little destiny, or difference with all that bends or breaks." This is my avorite part. I knew that I was just a the beginning of a journey once I read this first stanza. And what a journy of feeling it is! "harping on your wishful thinking of power to at least, at last know pleasure to defeat to destroy to have ruined all that you knew and loved for they have now ruined you." Now ruined you. Yes! This is a great moment in the journy here. Anger an power, and the battle over those who have scorend you. This is a very powerful point here. Great work. | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by mywordscutmetoo | [ Reply to This ] | "And happy endings | are only designs of a dispirited heart dejected, and restrains to fall apart into the waning memory of a stain" This stanza is probably the one that needs the most work. If the happy endings, plural, are doing the holding back, then 'restrains' should not end with 's'. I would also decide, if I were you, on the place of punctuation in this piece. Unless there is a a particular reason for it, then I would suggest leaving the end line puncutuatin out entirely, relying on the natural breath given at the end of a line to add the pauses for you. | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ] | |