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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Blood Stainsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: diamonds_2_dust
    ASL Info:    15/m/Eugene Oregon
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 105/161/35
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 949
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 986



    Description:
       i'm trying to crawl outside of my protective little bubble... i'm afraid to be hurt again, but i love this girl i met... not as much as Ashley, but more than anyone still alive... he constant reminder of the pain i went through pains me everyy time i alow myself to love....

    that;s the poem in short... tell me what you think...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlood Stainsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Never, not once
    did we ever have to fight
    it was perfect harmony
    long into the night
    i just held you there
    in my arms
    and all my fears
    of any harm
    just slip away... slip away...

    but these blood stains remind me
    of what happened before
    shattered memmories
    crying on the floor

    But i hold you there
    and ignore the pain
    that rears it's ugly head
    time and time again
    Your heartbeat
    slow and sweet
    gently sings me to sleep
    but after that kiss
    sweeet dreams evade my reach
    i cannot rest
    because my chest
    is pounding for a reason:
    i've found hope to believe in
    but i'll remember the cost
    of when Ashley was lost

    buti will not allow this night
    to be ruined by things
    such as my past & memmories
    aka: blood stains...





    Submitted on 2006-04-10 13:26:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      WOW. this is chilling thrilling peice. the blood stains reminds me of a play called Macbeth.

    anyways. wonderful peice. i love how it rhymed but it doesnt seemed forced. it flowed so fluently out of my mouth like a water hose flowing down to a drain. it romantic yet chilling so much. so beautifully sad.
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by chilz | [ Reply to This ]
      Ever so huanting. I knew a story like this oce, even the same name of the girl who was lost. I hope your ashley was lost in a far less gruesome way, my friend's was gunned down in a not well nownmilitary school shooting about 6 years ago. I send my best wishes for the new love, know the hardships of moving on.

    Now ontothe crtiquing. All i see wrong is a missing space between but and i.

    ~Rob~
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by ThisIsReal | [ Reply to This ]
      I love this it holds many emotions of pain, love, memorie. Those things are good inspiration on any poem. This poem holds depth and creativity if you keep writing i will keep reading.
    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by Crescent | [ Reply to This ]


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