Description: i'm trying to crawl outside of my protective little bubble... i'm afraid to be hurt again, but i love this girl i met... not as much as Ashley, but more than anyone still alive... he constant reminder of the pain i went through pains me everyy time i alow myself to love....
that;s the poem in short... tell me what you think...
Never, not once
did we ever have to fight
it was perfect harmony
long into the night
i just held you there
in my arms
and all my fears
of any harm
just slip away... slip away...
but these blood stains remind me
of what happened before
shattered memmories
crying on the floor
But i hold you there
and ignore the pain
that rears it's ugly head
time and time again
Your heartbeat
slow and sweet
gently sings me to sleep
but after that kiss
sweeet dreams evade my reach
i cannot rest
because my chest
is pounding for a reason:
i've found hope to believe in
but i'll remember the cost
of when Ashley was lost
buti will not allow this night
to be ruined by things
such as my past & memmories
aka: blood stains...
WOW. this is chilling thrilling peice. the blood stains reminds me of a play called Macbeth.
anyways. wonderful peice. i love how it rhymed but it doesnt seemed forced. it flowed so fluently out of my mouth like a water hose flowing down to a drain. it romantic yet chilling so much. so beautifully sad.
Ever so huanting. I knew a story like this oce, even the same name of the girl who was lost. I hope your ashley was lost in a far less gruesome way, my friend's was gunned down in a not well nownmilitary school shooting about 6 years ago. I send my best wishes for the new love, know the hardships of moving on.
Now ontothe crtiquing. All i see wrong is a missing space between but and i.
I love this it holds many emotions of pain, love, memorie. Those things are good inspiration on any poem. This poem holds depth and creativity if you keep writing i will keep reading.
Submission Name: Blood Stains
