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    dots Submission Name: Inquisitiondots

    Author: RedRoseofBlood
    ASL Info:    19/f/outsideyourwindow
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 592/582/135
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1105
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 629

       I just wrote this one. I don'e know where it came from. Trivial, but I hope someone likes it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    If I say something
    Does that make it irue?
    If I get my way
    Will I have all of you?
    100% unadultarated you.

    If everything is relative
    Does that make nothing fact?
    If I make a statement
    Can't I take it back?
    I want to erase my mistakes.

    If I make you smile
    Does that mean I have succeeded?
    If I can't make you laugh
    Am I really needed?
    Meeting goals.

    If I write it down
    Will you know I love you?
    If you read this
    Will you say you love me too?
    All that I hope for.

    Submitted on 2006-04-10 18:15:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very clear meaning and structure but no figurative work! From me, "no figurative work" is a put-down .. but I was just thinking about the wonderful symbolic imagery in some of your other poems, so I'm thinking there's something going on here that I don't understand: you do some poems as straight as a laundry list and some others very figurative indeed! It's something that as a reader or critic, I don't need to understand but very curious all the same!

    Puzzling your questions in each stanza, and trying to get the feel of this mostly untold love story, drew me into the text and made me think and feel about it, so it's a successful poem all right. But very different from (say) those high-coloured, startling doll poems? I bet that means something to you, somehow?
    | Posted on 2007-03-08 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting.... I like the questions, although I don't know if the last line of each stanza is an answer?? and I would suggesting working on the rythum of it.. read it aloud and see if you catc hit.. try to make each pair of lines have the same number of syllables to mke the rhyming smoother.
    | Posted on 2006-05-01 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      thats a fun one... there is a spelling error in the first stanza, i think u meant to say true.... that was a thought to ponder... and that one line will remain with me for the rest of the day... thanks for the thoughts!
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]

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