Forbidden Love -------------------------------------------
Things I think when I see you
Shouldn't be in my head
But I know you feel the same way I do
Just by the look in your eyes
The passion and love is covered by hesitance
The same sight I see in my own
We know this is wrong
But we just can't seem to help it
Your touch brings goosebumps to my skin
Relaxing my whole body
Yet making my heart race
I want to tell you everything about me
But it's never the time or place
Until finally we are alone in out spot
Cigarette smoke clouding around us
We can talk freely together
And you hold me close and tight
I look up into your eyes
You allow me to see all your feeling
You pull me closer to your clothed body
And our lips connect
Allowing our souls to merge as one
Until out time together ends
You start to pull away
Still looking me in the eyes
Slowly releasing me from your grip
And with one last kiss
You whisper goodnight softly
Both of us leave, longing for more time together
More time alone in out spot
More time in our world
We know the next time we see each other
Reality will have set back in
We will know this is wrong
And our eyes will be drowning with love and passion
Only to be smothered by the guilt
The majority of the piece is good, but it lacks some excitement or deepness. I hate using the word "deep". Anyway. I really liked the last stanza. You seemed to ad a little more emotion into it.
I think this poem is pretty good. It does a very good job of expressing forbidden love. The longing here is also very well expressed with your words. The only thing I think you could have added more of is passion. The desire that is felt between these two people must be substantial to risk feelings of guilt afterwards and I felt it could have been more passionate in the parts of this where you are together. Otherwise this is well written and expressed. I think there is one typo in your last stanza with the word "out" in the second line. I think it should be "our". Nice poem. Take care.
Submission Name: Forbidden Love
