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    dots Submission Name: Prolapsedots

    Author: drowning_queen
    Elite Ratio:    5.44 - 245/270/52
    Words: 154
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 721
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1142

       Cause we're all just flower children at heart...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    We have swallowed clouds
    We ate them twirled about our fingers
    sticky, sickly sweet like
    one bunch too much of
    rainbow cotton candy
    We have drawn out stars amongst
    revolution colored skies and
    woven them into nets of self-discovery
    We have painted chained flowers
    'round buses and Bugs
    humming and strumming to
    snow-white songs of


    We have wept dove soft tears for
    oppressionist wars and
    senseless acts of
    brotherhood and poetic license
    We have gathered en mass to
    witness the rise and fall of
    nubile bodies painted with
    mud and sun and sweat and
    We have run on liberated feet
    from and towards that
    ever-pedestalled collective dream of
    free love and ultimate

    We have built bonds in
    melting snow, waiting
    for something new and
    to come along and give us
    just one more cause to
    fight for...

    Submitted on 2006-04-11 00:10:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Jim Morrison sixties... or something later?

    Makes me believe that maybe our generation is as jaded as most people say it is that is why we try to derange or sense and feel something new... break every boundary to feel our hearts beating. Should we blame technology and the reach of man's senses? Should we even blame anything? I don't think so... it's just the way things are.

    This piece reminds of a few war veterans. The way they have become psychological victims of their duties to the point that without a war... they feel useless. Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing... it's just that... it's hard to let go of your purpose... to let go of the fact that you are blatantly important to the world.

    This also reminds me of orgies... mental, physical, etc. The way people can get into an almost too dangerous ambience and just fade in it to allow themselves to feel what they want to feel and live.

    Anyway... the image you painted is beautiful.

    Your usage of metaphors in this piece... from the revolution colored skies (which I liked a lot for its chaotically dreamy feel) to the rest of the colors you've installed... were very useful. The tone of your piece appeared tragically jubilant... or should I say... alive.
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      I can almost hear this read out loud in a poets cafe. I love it, it flows smooth.
    senseless acts of
    brotherhood and poetic license
    I especailly like these lines as I sit here and what yet another program about the senseliess violence that esists around the world, a surviver or the rwanda genoside cries and shares her memories and I remeber the rxcuses the world shared as they fought over the poetic licence of the word genocide...
    this is going into my favorites..
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by mimi | [ Reply to This ]
      i swear, if you do what SoB suggested- I will personally kill you. to death, bro.

    all she did was pretensify it.
    pretentious SoB...
    she added brackets. and by copying your poem and adding needless brackets that in no way affected the reading of the poem and were just there for the visual, she got uber-points for the comment length.

    nice poem- minus the brackets.
    | Posted on 2006-05-04 00:00:00 | by MerryDeath | [ Reply to This ]
      Indeed. Well put, Miss Drowning Queen. The imagery was excellent, and it certainly brought to the surface the free spirit of that time...of course, I wasn't there, but from what I can tell, you did an admirable job. One grammatical note: I'm not sure, but shouldn't it be "woven them into nets of self-discovery"? Loved the metaphorical quality of this piece. A fave.

    ~Later Days~
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
      Yes we are all flower children, i think in this generation, we miss that mass surge of flower power and i miss those days even though i was not born yet.

    I want people to feel that joy you emit from your poem, that feeling of we can change the world, and we can.

    To believe that we don't need to accept all the [censored] around us, we are not powerless y'a know?
    thank you for a good poem.
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Shahdin | [ Reply to This ]
      this made me think of the Haight Ashbury... flower children and all. it is very well written and harkens back to the days of peace and love and marching for revolution. i think it should be "We have run" instead of ran... what is that saying, "If you remember the '60s you weren't there..." ?!

    very vivid in imagery, and i must fave this one, my friend. i'm just an old hippie at heart!

    peace out!
    | Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

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