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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Led by the Handdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darkstar9500
    ASL Info:    18/male/Missouri
    Elite Ratio:    3.36 - 39/56/19
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 695
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1012



    Description:
       There's a couple of parts I like about this poem and a couple of parts I just don't like. Tell me what you think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLed by the Handdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You find me in the darkness,
    Where I was content to stay.
    You offer your hand to lead.
    Letting me glimpse at your world.

    The beauty of the world is all I see.
    You explain it's power to create.
    You taught me that,
    The power I sought was always,
    dormant inside my soul.

    Your hand in mine.
    I desire nothing else.
    This angel, this bringer of light.
    Everything is perfect.

    But reality is much too cruel.
    Life is not a bed time story.
    There is no "Happily ever after."
    At least not for me.
    At least not yet.

    My angel is ripped from my side.
    Along with her, a piece of my soul.
    Along with her, the beauty of the world.
    My eyes are freed from the spell of love

    The world is beauty made dark.
    The world is darkness made beautiful.
    Led by the Hand.
    I've witness both sides of this world.




    Submitted on 2006-04-11 00:23:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i think this poem is perfect... you know what? im sorry. im sooo sorry, like you'll never know how sorry i am for hurting you the way i did... and i would give anything to take it all away, if only i knew how.
    | Posted on 2006-05-02 00:00:00 | by CutMeDeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      The last couple of stanza's worked really well I liked this poem quite alot as well as the progression of each stanza building the story nicely, the pause in the rythum in the third stanza and the use of a cliché make it a little awkward more interestingly though it works because it seems to create this little bit of stable peace that the fourth stanza rips apart. well done Lafferty
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Lafferty | [ Reply to This ]
      its deep. and it truly made me see for the first time how much I have hurt you, and also how much I have given you. You now know that life can be good, but you've feel deep pain as well. Keep that knowledge, don't forget the pain, but never ever surrender the knowledge of the beauty. Keep it up. question, what is the title and that one line? is it LED or LEAD? just confused about that.
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by BreakAndFall | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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