Tell her -------------------------------------------
tell her my friend
don't be afraid
tell her what you are feeling
before it's to late
don't wait ..
don't hesitate
love is a miracle
nothing in the world
is more great
but love is blind
you worry to much
just make up your mind
get close..
and feel your breaths touch
with almost a whisper
say how long and how much
you love her and now ..
you couldn't just stand and watch
and even if shes gone
even if she said no
at least she will know
don't do like did I
strange ..but until now
sometimes I cry
she left suddenly
I don't know why
she didn't even say good-bye
you love her
so you still have one step to take
you've got to learn from my mistake
don't wait for destiny
to give you the proof
that destiny will put you
beside the right one
and you've to make your move
you've to get close enough
to have a chance to say, I love you
when you still have a chance for love
go and forget everything
about your pride
and whatever it comes to
you know you'll be all right
I just think you forced the rythm when you said
< don't do like did I > ... so much DOING thing in this line... maybe you should revise it a bit...
But hey it's just as I see it !!
mmm... you're abseloutly right !!..
I wish I reda this one before I did your mistake ...
Beutifully written... it's simple and goes right to the point across ..
Good Work !!
goshhh! i feel the emotion. and i have made the mistake of never telling someone that i loved him. i wish i would ahve read this peom. because hiding from somebody that you love them sucks. especially when they leave. you have to say good bye. but its never too late to tell them. better late then never.
This piece does has emotions, particulariy the first section, the second stanza, almost sounds like song lyrics, and inparticular this one stanza stands out and takes way from me the whispered conversational tone of the first part, which I really like.
perhaps if your rhymes were less strssed in the second stanza, it would keep the sincere feweling the rest of the poem has..It is the last 2 lines
I don't know why she did not even say goodbye.
No explanation. she was gone, no note, no goodbye....
something more like that in your own words would keep the private dialogue sense i find in the rest of the piece.
This piece is okay to me, but i think you can make it much more interesting than it is, but i can say that this piece is not devoid of all emotion, and i get where you are coming from.
Submission Name: Tell her
