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    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots

    Author: Dispair
    ASL Info:    28/m/qld
    Elite Ratio:    1.93 - 15/38/35
    Words: 292
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 988
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1666

       Look inside to where i hide and you'll see this poem

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.



    The water drops from the hole in the roof
    Caught by the bucket beneath
    The rain outside comes falling down
    The tears inside come pouring out

    Once again I am trapped by the time we had
    The years that passed too quickly
    The years that ended to soon
    The years that were us

    I would give the world to have you back
    To have you in my life today
    More than a vague memory that still causes me pain
    More than the loneliness that I am now

    I piece together the moments that still remain to me
    Trying to find solace in my misery
    Trying to find where I went wrong
    And lost the person that I was

    You made me smile for most the time
    You gave me reason to walk through life
    You gave me hope for the future
    And you gave me my son

    And now you have taken all of that away from me
    Chased away by your own insecurities
    Pushed away by my ignorance
    Sprung from the trap and set free

    I love you still after all this time
    Even though you continue to bring me pain
    Even though you cease to be a part of my life
    Even though I feel numb

    Of times I sit and wonder what it would be like
    If you were still in my life today
    If you hadnít run away when things turned bad
    If I had of kept you here

    But no, no sense crying over a broken heart
    For I stand alone and that is who I am
    I may wish the grace of love upon my life
    But it has come and I have shunned it

    Submitted on 2006-04-11 08:09:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow!!! i REALLY love the way you express emotions in this poem. All i can say is wow really! its such a good way to show that particular situation, and the ending is really brilliant. It made me feel in touch with what you was really trying to say to your audience and it feels like a really original poem. I think the only way to improve it would really be to kind of hide the emotional words a bit more to give your reader extra work in trying to figure out what certain parts mean, but like iv said, VERY good poem xx
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by _shadow.queen_ | [ Reply to This ]

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