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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Giving Indots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BreakAndFall
    ASL Info:    18/f/mo
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 115/153/59
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704



    Description:
       Sometimes, its so tempting to end it all, to leave it all behind... death is so appealing, ending the sorrow of myself and of those around me. I'm standing on the ledge and slowly leaning forward, its only time keeping me from falling.


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    dotsGiving Indots
    -------------------------------------------


    Tears keep falling; night keeps calling
    Light is fading; no one save me
    I don't want to; I won't let you
    I refuse to ask for help

    I'm not hopeless - just accepting what my future holds
    I'm not twisted - I see clearly
    I have no options left - my only choice is here

    Tears keep falling; darkness calling
    Shall I give in; decide my end?
    The black sky beckons

    My soul begins to answer to the call
    But I can't let go, give up my hold

    Slip away so silently

    Tears keep falling; death keeps calling
    Tempting me to close my eyes and let darkness fall




    Submitted on 2006-04-11 09:44:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I enjoyed this poem quite a bit . it pulled me back about 10 years to when i felt the same . i agree abouty the 2nd stanza a little off but definilty looking forward to more from you
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by ROSHAY9992000 | [ Reply to This ]
      Why refuse to ask for help? I'll never understand the resistance to that...

    Not that I haven't felt this way before...thinking that it's the only or best way to get away from the pain...

    As a poem...the rhyme scheme is very random...some parts of this flowed, others didn't...

    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Emerging Soul | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an ammmmmmmazing poem.
    But just know it is not your only option.
    Don't stop writing...you never know - it could help.

    *hug*
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh!!! that is so sad my dear, You should look to life with som other point of view, life is worthy to be lived, for the seek of your parents, your friends and all the ones that loves you. Do not lose hope my dear.... As for your poem is really awesome and I really like the repeition of that part
    " Tears keep falling; night keeps calling " sounds musical in every line and very powerful too. Great Job...

    Yours,
    Khaled.
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, I love the way it starts out, it sounds like some kind of prayer. The second stanza though seems......uneven, yeah, thats the word. Maybe you should try something like:

    "I'm not hopeless - just accepting what my future holds
    Im not twisted - I can see everything in front of me
    I have no options left - my only choice is here."

    But that was just a suggestion. I really think you did a very good job on this piece. by the way, thanks for reading My swet angel blade. I just put it up and didn't expect no one to read it yet.

    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      JENN!! Don't give in you still have things to live for. Not to mention your love Nate. Even if I have to carry you I will get you past this. I'm sorry I've made nothing better maybe even worse. Please forgive me and let me help you.
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Darkstar9500 | [ Reply to This ]
      very strong poem shows a lot of emotion I hope you know there is always a way out and alwaysd another choice in the poem it seems like your saying you don't see a way out maybe thats not what you meant but anyway [censored] can always get better and it's always as bad as you think I know I had it rough and it all turned around eventually. good write reedo
    | Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by reedo | [ Reply to This ]


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