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Author: mimi
ASL Info:    30/f/ny
Elite Ratio:    3.66 - 597 /390 /111
Words: 167
Class/Type: Poetry /Romance
Total Views: 1012
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1037



I want your fingers to reach for mine
to dip inside a glass of wine
trace my lips and let me
taste the nectars of forbidden fruits
bring out the secrets of hidden truths.

I want your fingers to map out
route 66 on my epithelial.
Add 3 more and take me on route 95
south as a journey together.
Let your fingers, or their aide
trace figure eights and the letters of the alphabet.
Wind through the maze of my nerves.

Let your fingers whisper songs
on the small hairs behind my neck
down my arms, through the rivers
that flow delivering the message of my desire
let your fingers ignite fires as they linger and dive inside.

Point your way through the middle
lets the bells ring as rainbow of colors
flash around me.

Submitted on 2006-04-11 11:33:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  EXCELLENT imagery!

I've always been a fan of poetry with sexual connotations, far more than straight out erotica. There is so much to be said for the type of brazen subtlety you exercise here. You have strong rhythm and a good use of formatting (i
the last stanza) that really help this piece shine.

Thank you for calling my attention here. I thoroughly enjoyed it. ;)


(I'm faving this, by the way)
| Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by drowning_queen | [ Reply to This ]
  Is it weird that i want it to? :P lol the picture this put in my mind would definetly have a mature rating on it but thats what i think is good about it, it provokes me and pushes me to think of how that would be to do that just be so gentle and its like wow i can see myself even feel the girl just from reading this so you definetly have a way with words and they way you wrote it, the way its structured helps it so this was definetly thought out and done to perfection. Feelings of lust and want is exactly what it brings out in the best way. Im 18 you would call me just another hormone waiting to get off but im really into the being romantic with making love being gentle all that so i really enjoyed your write. Its nostalgic in its own sense. Ill be sure to come back and read this a couple times to get everything out of it that im supposed to. Only thing i wish it was longer maybe you can try and do one just like it but make it longer please lol. Thank you i will be back for more.
| Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by wallya20 | [ Reply to This ]
  I liked the rhyme scheme you had in the first stanza. I was expecting it to continue, but it didn't!
You approached your topic in an unusual sort of way. I like it. The references to highways and travelling reminds me of two lovers runing away or going on a road trip together. I like the way you presented that.
I think it needs some help from a stylistic pint, though. Either rhyme or don't. I understand why you stretched out the last phrase, but it makes it difficult to read. I can't decide if I like it that way or not.
Anyways, it was a pretty good poem.
| Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]

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