[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Together Againdots

    Author: hammyj
    ASL Info:    21/m/Notts UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.71 - 130/81/21
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 777
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 841

       This is just simply one of those where it just came to me as an idea and i went with it
    Just trying to tell of the hurt of losing someone for life and then them self harming to ease it
    Tell me your views etc anything really
    Appreciate the read

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTogether Againdots

    Walking on down this path
    I turn back i heard your laugh
    I search for you my longings due
    for a reprieve i need you too

    A lonely tear drenches my face
    if only you were near to taste
    I want you back for one more day
    I need you too, i hear you say

    I carve your name into my arm
    Instead of hurt i lie here harmed
    This pain i feel is how you are
    to me these days its gone too far

    The time is right to fill my greed
    Tonights the night i do the deed.
    Joining you forever at last
    When the sand empties the hourglass

    Our time was short on this hellish earth
    Taken from me at what seemed like birth
    The ink has emptied itself from my pen
    I guess that means this is the en..............

    Submitted on 2006-04-12 14:59:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked this poem. I have read some of your other poems and they are really stuff that you can really relate to. I enjoyed this piece very much so. You keep writing and I will keep reading. Take care.
    Christina aka POETRY
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by POETRY | [ Reply to This ]
      Well. Where to begin. First off..I really like this pieces. Poems that go 1 1 2 2 are my favourite because the rhyme adds to what is said. I like that at first it is decieving. My first thought was that he dumped her and she was trying to get over it but as I read on I found he passed but she doesn't want him to be alone. I know that feeling so you have created a piece many can realte to.
    Write on
    | Posted on 2006-04-12 00:00:00 | by giver_of_death | [ Reply to This ]
      You are such an amazing writer, you're probably sick of hearing that but w/e I'll sleep tonight:P. this was really good and the rhyme flowed well and at the same time was simple to follow. This, as usual was very easy for me to relate to, and the only thing i have a slight issue with, and please don't take this as an offensive statment becuz I enjoyed this write BUT I have cut before and I just think you could have gone into more detail with exactly what you feel if/when u cut. other than that good write.
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]