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    dots Submission Name: Heatdots

    Author: EmeraldJealousy
    Elite Ratio:    6.42 - 219/109/18
    Words: 163
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1387
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 929

       i'm indulging in repetition here... oh i'm so ashamed, lol.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    My head burns as the thought of you enters me.
    The heat of your breath on me deliberately,
    Taste of you burning my tongue,
    All of you making me burn.
    Like a fallen angel whose heat flows,
    The fire falls away to liberate the glow.
    The hot breath of you on me deliberately,
    My head burns as the thought of you enters me.

    See the flames jump- my skin interacting with yours,
    Our flesh entwining as we discover
    What we've felt for each other.
    Feel the lips burn into the tightening skin and leave their mark-
    The temperature rising, sweat level pulsing, as we produce scars
    on each other's hearts.

    Breathe harder- watch the steam fall from your own mouth,
    My passion for you is all that I have.
    The burning desire coming out of me
    And landing on your lips so delicately.

    Submitted on 2004-05-07 00:28:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      u have no idea how much i feel like that now. wow, this is something you would read to get in the mood! lol neway, i wouldnt change anything about the poem because it really sets the mood.
    | Posted on 2005-06-12 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't see a problem with the repitition in this piece for two reasons...First, when we are really feeling passion we are generally stuck into a one track frame of mind, right? And secondly, the act that is about to consumate involves much repititon. If it's done right...lol. In-out-in out. (I don't mena to be vulgar but it's the easiest way to explain my point.)

    A lot of passion searing and bubbling to the surface with this poem. Hot and burning. I think my computer screen is getting fogged up.

    Thanks for sharing....Unbelievable that so few commented on this. It is good.
    | Posted on 2004-05-11 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]

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