Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dog without a bonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: anooplokur
    ASL Info:    21/male/india
    Elite Ratio:    2.76 - 73/106/34
    Words: 117
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 594
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 736



    Description:
       welll i came up with this song in like ten mins was not able to sleep so wote this
    hope u like it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDog without a bonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You were once a king without a crown,
    Now you walk the streets with a frown
    People used to tell beware,
    whats there today's gone tommorow
    and now,

    Chorus:
    how do you feel?
    with no one by your side
    with no place to go
    like a dog withouth a bone

    You were blinded by the luxuries and riches
    now how do you feel in rags?
    You made a deal with the devil
    with the God by your side
    and now,

    Chorus

    The devils laughing with delight
    now youre all alone in this fight
    You closed your eyes and sold your soul
    your life doesnt look so good
    and now,

    CHORUS




    Submitted on 2006-04-13 08:41:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      All that this song really needs is a bridge to keep it up. The same thing over and over again eventually gets kind of boring, so a verse in between one of the two stanzas would break things up a bit and make things better. Other than that, great.
    Wishing for More
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, I would add on some more to the refrains but overall it was pretty good. so keep it up! <3Sarah J
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by Sarah J | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    98922

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry