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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: DEMENTIAdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ROSHAY9992000
    ASL Info:    22/m/fl
    Elite Ratio:    3.18 - 16/12/12
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 734
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 698



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDEMENTIAdots
    -------------------------------------------


    WHY AM I SO LOST
    LOST DEEP WITHIN MY SOUL
    DODGING THE LIFE STRUGGLE
    FOR MY PEACE AT MIND
    FROM THE TORMENTED PAST
    TO THE BLEAK FUTURE INSIGHT
    WORKING MYSELF INTO DEMENTIA
    WITH THE VOICES INSIDE
    THOUGHTS OF ENDING THIS MORTALITY
    RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND
    WAIT.THAT WOMAN ,THE BEAUTY
    BLOOD NOW RACING THROUGH MY VEINS
    AND SHE GLANCES MY WAY
    A WEIGHTLESSNESS COMES OVER ME
    THEN I HEAR LAUGHTER AS SHE WALKS BY
    HURT AND DEJECTED I NOW WALK AWAY
    BACK TO THE HOPELESS STRUGGLE
    LIFE HAS SET FORTH FOR ME
    I JUST WANT ONE LOVE IN LIFE
    TO TAKE MY DEMONS AWAY




    Submitted on 2006-04-13 08:51:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is sad
    Sadly I know exactly of the demons you are speaking if
    I suffered thru 5 long years of abuse with Crystal Meth and I know exactly what you are speaking of
    Ever since I stopped doing drugs one year ago the voices and the visions have stopped
    Remain Positive
    Once you realize the voices are just your mind transfixing your thoughts you will begin to heal
    If You ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on Im always here
    God Bless
    Ron

    And Welcome to Elite Skills I hope this site brings you all the joy it has brought me
    If you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Peace. And please not all caps. :P
    While having some along the way helps the reader get the accenuations, ALL caps just hurts. :(
    Now, back to the poem. Not bad, though you could work on the flow abit. It's quite raw at the moment, but the shear emotion flowing out is to be reckoned with. :) Spend some time mopping up and clearing up the clutter, and the poem would be so much better. Believe me, this has the makings of a good poem. :)

    Bann
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by unREMb | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really deep, a real show of the constant struggle to find love in your life and acceptance of yourself. Dont wait for someone to come erase your demons for you, i am not a pessimist but chances are you might be waiting for a long time and even if you do find someone to chase away your demons whats going to happen if she leaves you, then the demons return now stronger than ever because you would have loved and lost and be hurting from it. It's best you heal yourself find your own strenght so you can always stand on your own.

    Shalom,
    Jay.
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]


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