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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: you stare. . . SHAMELESSLYdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AfricanPrincess
    ASL Info:    21/F/SA
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 222/201/31
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1203
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 941



    Description:
       Any comments would do . . . . .


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyou stare. . . SHAMELESSLYdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You stare at me
    Shamelessly
    Admiring the melting coco covering
    Dripping from the curls of my hair
    The mountains on my chest
    The valley of my belly
    Erupting from my heated bronze core
    Racing with gravity down the curves of my hips
    The depression of my knee
    Dripping, dripping, dripping from the tips of my toes

    You stare at me
    Shamelessly
    Eyes locked to my physical being
    So blind as not to see my leaping soul, my female spirit
    Shining, glowing, scintillating
    Just waiting to be admired by you
    Engulfed by you
    Acknowledged by you
    Praised by you

    And so. . . you stare at me
    Shamelessly
    Wanting to devour this body I posses
    But at the same time shunning the
    Emotional me,
    Spirit filled me
    Soulful me, that craves your devouring even more




    Submitted on 2006-04-14 04:32:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This poem reminds me of a Maya Angelou. It's got a powerful message that could be easily dismissed as a feminist raving, but you draw the reader in with the mention of sexual desire. The incident described is very much the case in my limited experience, so I can relate to your grievance. I love the fact that you are comfortable with your body and respect yourself. Those qualities are lacking in young women today and it comes as a refreshing surprise that you have achieved such profound understanding. Really great poem. Thanks.
    | Posted on 2006-05-26 00:00:00 | by Donne Rogue | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh boy....you sure got me too girl! I feel ya!! My heart just feels like it is being crushed.......boy I know where you are at...
    | Posted on 2006-05-25 00:00:00 | by Suffer Well | [ Reply to This ]
      damn this was a great stand up anthem for women everywhere. sorry we can't help ourselves. u females are just so gorgeous. y'all are the definition of poetry in motion and all we wanna do is read the poem instead of searching harder for a deeper meaning.
    | Posted on 2006-05-18 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      Wonderful!!! I'm so pleased another woman is willing to say it like it is. This piece was a great read for any woman or man. It was a fantastic descriptive piece & so well put. Bravo!!!
    ~Tonya
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by Tonya V. | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a wonderful piece to read my dear! I really enjoyed the imagery that you used to describe your body. I really enjoyed how you then went into wanting someone to have your innerself praised. Wanting someone for what they possess on the inside speaks volumes, so does wanting that for yourself. Either way, the only real critique I can offer for this piece is the way that you have to add the other s, which has been pointed out already. So I'll just say...Great job!

    Candi
    | Posted on 2006-04-21 00:00:00 | by dreamweaver | [ Reply to This ]
      Hooo-yaaaaaa!
    Tell it like it is girl!
    And any guy out there that wonders why they cant get or keep a good woman should read this. Some of you girls though are just so gosh darn physically attractive that sometimes its hard to not focus off of that once in a while. HA!

    But yeah, sometimes you gotta wonder about those that stare shamelessly and think to yourself, "Watch out...this person might be a mental midget."

    I think possess is spelled with 2 esses at the end.

    Excellent ending.
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      That is a wonderful peice of art my dear Nadia and I agree with all my fellow writers who commented at your work previously and I really liked the way you expressed yourself into this poem and I hope you will keep up good works...
    Great Job.
    Khaled
    | Posted on 2006-05-27 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really clever
    The only thing I would look at in any woman is her mind
    I have said this before and I will say it again
    I would easily go for a woman who weighed 350 pds and had a great sense of humor with a clever mind over a Model anyday
    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
    Nice Job with this one
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Amen sista! I agree with this so much. Before I found the love of my life, I felt this way when guys would gawk at me on the streets. You are right, there is more to a women then just her sexuality and beauty. And some men ignore that fact and constantly luck out with us. You spoke so much truth here, I'm doing a little dance number now. lol. This is a fav. What I liked the most about this poem was that YOU knew what lies in you and was aware of your worth, far more then his lustful eyes. That sealed the point about that female spirit and strenght he was blind to. Keep up the great work little lady!

    Triggie
    | Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      People nowdays dwell too much on physical beauty, everyone wants someone beautiful or nothing at all. I would rather be with someone with an absolutely beautiful personality then someone who is pretty and superfical and afterall as Ron as said beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I much prefer inner beauty. This was a very good write and I like the topic you chose to write on. Your use of imagery was also good.

    The only thing I felt was holding this back was in this line

    "Wanting to devour this body I posses"

    The word possess is spelt incorrectly should be two "s". Other than that as I said before this was a good write. Keep up the good work and have a blessed and wonderful day.

    This was my favourite stanza

    You stare at me
    Shamelessly
    Eyes locked to my physical being
    So blind as not to see my leaping soul, my female spirit
    Shining, glowing, scintillating
    Just waiting to be admired by you
    Engulfed by you
    Acknowledged by you
    Praised by you

    God bless.
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent moral! and a great way to tell it. I loved the first stanza, all thos "Earth" references, mountains, valley, gravity, you thought that out really well.

    I can't really fault this N, simply a bloody good poem with a bloody good message in it.

    Superbly done

    Be Happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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