[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Cheesy Line (maybe two lines)dots

    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 37
    Class/Type: Personal Quotes/Comedy
    Total Views: 548
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 184

       CHEESY STUFF lol

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCheesy Line (maybe two lines)dots

    If I was a rainforest and you were gone, I would just be a regular forest.

    It's like if I was the desert and you were the rain, I mourn until the day you come back.

    Submitted on 2006-04-14 06:34:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This one is interesting. It express a unique kind of way of how one person needs another. The first quote is saying that this person adds quality and character to you and your life and without them you are just an ordinary person without that special something in life. The second quote got me to thinking and I think you could improve on this one a little with the word "mourn". Perhaps to say 'wither' or something more along the lines of the dryness of the desert. I like wither personally but that is up to you. Mourn to me reminds me of crying and that would be a reference to water, and the desert is very hot and dry. Just something to consider. And how the hell are ya anyway??

    | Posted on 2006-04-26 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]