I want more!

Author: whendt Elite Ratio:    1.98 - 902 /387 /108 Words: 111

Class/Type: Poetry /Longing Total Views: 1299 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 687

Description:

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I want more!

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My friend lonesome is unconditional cold as a tear that's never fallen feels good to be alone a shower is in my future I break the glass just to feel the breeze angels tip toe lightly around me my face wants to be a colorful site it fades away and now I'm gone my time is right to sing this song nobodies home feelings hit me in my bones makes me a cry out loud but I like it nothing flesh,nothing pain a black sheep living in a dream think I'm going crazy I would go if I had a brain me, I'm just like you I don't have a clue...

Submitted on 2006-04-14 16:50:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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I like this poem, I am gonna keep reading...

| Posted on 2006-10-20 00:00:00 | by psycho_1 | [ Reply to This ]

I get this peom alot. Its when my parents leave and the house is all mine. At night it gets scary sometimes but not always. I like it too becuase i get to do what I want with no one watching. I can sing without worry of being heard, I love to sing in the shower lol. Its as you said a fantasy world. I can truely be me with only my thoughts , free from eyes and ears. Your last phrase"i'm just like you"is getting your point across that you do some silly stuff when your alone but >dosent everybody< Sarahe.p.

| Posted on 2006-10-17 00:00:00 | by SarahE.P. | [ Reply to This ]

this didn't really make a whole lot of sense to me, really...sorry :( The only thing that did get across was that you enjoyed the pain..which is understandable if you're suffering inside.... Keep writing..... *Toxic*

| Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

I read this one a couple times so I could really try to grasp what you were saying. In some spots I could understand the feelings of loneliness and despair but other spots just kinda lost me and I just couldnt figure it out. I really like the opening line of this poem. I thought that was a great way to start this poem. If you could just rework this a bit, with a little more focus on that opening line, you and your friend lonesome could really have a great poem here. I just thought that overall there was no specific theme or point of focus. It does have potential though. Take care. Lorna

| Posted on 2006-04-18 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

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