[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Spring Breaksdots

    Author: beatthedrum
    ASL Info:    55- F - Southern CA USA
    Elite Ratio:    4.18 - 881/810/122
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 759
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 330


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSpring Breaksdots

    Spring breaks out its too long stored songs.
    Starlings start the singing, a love poor turtledove
    coos the counterpoint as a mocking bird mugs his solo
    and ragged remnants of rain drip rhythm.
    The fairy dancers remain unseen except for
    a few blades of bent grass and disembodied laughs.

    Submitted on 2006-04-14 20:40:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It seem like you wrote a little diddy here. It was catchy and fun to say out loud. Brief but sweet. Nice work again. This was very good.

    | Posted on 2006-04-22 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem!! Is there more? It seems unfinished. I've read alot of your poems and I realy enjoy them. It's so nice to here from a mature voice. You writing is very profecional.

    | Posted on 2006-07-15 00:00:00 | by wildflower | [ Reply to This ]
      this is delightful, Chrystine.. i love the way you made spring a song breaking out with birds singing and rain providing rhythm. of course i do believe in faeries, so i loved the reference to the bent blades of grass and "disembodied laughs." i once went to a place called "The Faerie Rings" at the Russian River in California. it's deep in the forest where there are huge trees in rings.. i swear i saw a few faeries that night.... honest!!

    this made me want to go out and skip through the grass with them, but it's mighty cold tonight!!

    peace and a blessed Easter weekend,
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. It has that classic feel to it, bare, yet so substantial. You say more these six lines than someone could write in a novel. I really enjoy your voice and your perspective. It seems as though you're giving the reader insight into things they would normally miss and I can't help but appreciate it.
    | Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by roycureton | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]