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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the likes of medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: austin
    ASL Info:    22/ Male/ Odessa, Texas
    Elite Ratio:    4.41 - 376/396/84
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 859
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 913



    Description:
       something that I wrote a while ago, i kinda liked it, but i'll see what you all think.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe likes of medots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's like we've breathed our last breath,
    the pain locked in your head spins
    you say it's all too much
    it's devastating, and consuming
    it's tearing your core
    child that pain just isn't yours

    it's shared by many
    the likes of me

    Every waking moment it's in your mind
    but if you looked, you'd probably see
    what your pain has done to me
    it aches, and tears a hole
    leaves me bleeding without a soul
    and this is what i want you to know

    it's shared by many,
    from the likes of me
    a miracle reprimanded
    for false impurity

    time could age me, a thousand years
    and a wall of tears could shield you
    and i would still swim it through
    and you would be protected,
    from the pain you never knew




    Submitted on 2006-04-15 13:04:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This may be one of the most comforting things I've ever read. I have no idea what was going through your head when you wrote it...but I know what goes through my head as I read it today. Maybe I've just been extra emotional lately...feeling a little extra pain. But it's definitely the truth...that no matter how much we think we hurt...somebody out there is hurting just the same...and maybe more. The last few lines of this are my favorite... I guess that's where I found the comfort...that as much as I hurt sometimes...somewhere out there...there might be someone willing to protect me from a pain I had never even begun to feel. And maybe even the thought...that I could be that for someone else.

    "Child that pain just isn't yours." - love it.
    | Posted on 2008-02-26 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      WOW! where did this come from Brent? I really liked it. The imagery draws you in, don't get me wrong, I'm a visual person and you know this....I loved it. I caught the visuals in my head and I was following the beat like it was a song playing over and over in my head. It was very intriguing at least to me. I don't break your poems down and you know that I just say what I mean out right. I LOVED IT! Who is it about or for?
    | Posted on 2006-04-27 00:00:00 | by Brwnsknsam05 | [ Reply to This ]
      Cool piece Brent. "child that pain just isn't yours" That line in the first stanza made me really think. All the loss that has happened around here hasn't just happened to me, I realize that - but sometimes if we let ourselves get so consumed in such pain we forget that the loss is not just ours. (I even lose sight of that fact every now and then. Im only human after all!) The loss is for the whole community everyone that has been in contact with that person. Hence your "it's shared by many/the likes of me" phrase. ;)
    "and a wall of tears could shield you/and i would still swim it through/and you would be protected,/from the pain you never knew" That's some damn good writing Brent. This piece really made me stop and analyze how I've been viewing the world the past few months, even though I am doing a hell of a whole lot better. I felt this piece as being a "stop moping around and live it up" piece. I could be wrong but it is freakin' awesome nonetheless.
    It's flippin' sweeeet! ;)
    Take care hun.
    Beth
    | Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      this made me think of so many things i dont think i could write them all down. but i loved it! its sad and honest but still hopeful. like no matter how much undeserved pain and sadness this person feels, you're still going to be there. that is very sweet by the way, when you said you'd swim through the tears and break through the walls they put up. lovely imagery too. and knowing that theres someone else that knows exactly what it feels like, or just a hint of what you're thinking is just help enough. great write
    -steph
    | Posted on 2006-04-17 00:00:00 | by playcrackthesky | [ Reply to This ]


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