Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I'm In Dangerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: juss_kriss
    ASL Info:    23/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 404/445/126
    Words: 198
    Class/Type: Lyrics/The pain inside
    Total Views: 1015
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1316



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI'm In Dangerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    verse 1~
    have you ever felt so alone
    surrounded by familiar faces
    but yet no ones home
    nothing can ease the hurt inside
    hiding behind nothing but lies
    that everyone can see right through

    chorus~
    they all see the danger i'm in
    but no one will come to my rescue
    they see the tears in my eyes
    as i'm holding on for my dear life
    with no one standing by my side
    i'm going outta my mind

    verse 2~
    have you ever had to turn away
    from everything that you know
    everything that's familiar
    life is against you, no where to hide
    and you're left standing naked
    in front of ones you called your friends

    chorus~

    verse 3~
    have you ever screamed so loud
    so everyone hears your hurt
    but no one stops to listen
    how could you be so cruel to me
    i gave you my beatin' heart
    i gave you my everything

    chorus x2~

    coda~
    have you ever given up hope
    to find the comfort
    to help ease all the pain
    you know i'm going insane
    i'm going outta my mind
    i've living life on the edge
    i'm in danger




    Submitted on 2006-04-15 14:28:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, verry emotional. I can relate to this peice and I hope things change. I've seen you do better on flow and things though of course I'm sure it would sound great with music but I think the messege in this speaks louder than it would in perfect rythem. Good write.

    Sarah
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by S.A.M. | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    99171

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    an explanation of how i was not good written by Daniel Barlow
    This written by Chelebel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    Saying it to you with some gangsta shit written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Everyone written by poetotoe
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry