Dying and crying... by MascaraTears69

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Submission Name: Dying and crying... dots

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Author:	MascaraTears69
ASL Info:	14/f/cali
Elite Ratio:	2.39 - 15/11/7
Words:	184

Class/Type:	Poetry/BrokenHeart
Total Views:	141
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	1357

Description:
Just a poem about wanting to die after losing someone you love. It is very personal and close to my heart. Comments would be nice...

Dying and crying... dots

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I'm falling,slowly falling,
ANd I don't know what to do.
I'm dying and crying,
And wanting to be with you.

I'm slipping,reaching out,
For you to take my hand.
I'm crying my heart out,
Because I don't understand.

I'm losing it quietly,
Dangerously going out of my head.
You hurt me so bad,
And I want to be dead.

I'm running,tripping,
Watching my blood fall.
My body is scarred.
Thoughts are breaking through my wall.

I'm shouting,screaming,
Nedding you to hear me.
I'm making it slowly,
But still wishing we could be.

I'm torn apart, I can't make it,
Your the on I truly love.
I found you, you lost us.
Together we were suppose to go above.

I'm sinking,letting go,
I can't live without you.
You never wanted me
And now we are through.

And I'm bleeding,I'm crying,
For the last time.
Your supposed to be here.
Guess you were never mine.

Yes, I'm falling,slowly falling,
And I don't know what to do.
I'm dying and crying,
Because I want to be with you...

Submitted on 2006-04-15 17:00:38 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  I really liked this peice...very good..A feeling i can relate to..a lot..it was really nice to read...almost made me cry..

"I'm losing it quietly,
Dangerously going out of my head.
You hurt me so bad,
And I want to be dead."

I can relate to that like hell..it was just so me..like i said it aloud..it was like a confession for me...i really liked this piece..a couple spelling errors, but I do that all the time..so who cares..anywho keep up the great work!!!!

Lucy ^_^
| Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
  [I'm slipping,reaching out,
For you to take my hand.
I'm crying my heart out,
Because I don't understand

Yes, I'm falling,slowly falling,
And I don't know what to do.
I'm dying and crying,
Because I want to be with you...]

those two stanzas are my favorite.i could relate to them very much. i don't know but this piece really got into me and it's got a lot of feelings..though some lines are long, the flow's very nice. i love rhymes. i liked it.

| Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by raineces | [ Reply to This ]
  Good riming, good flow of events, and one in one...a perfect poetry. This kind of poetry should remind others that riming can make a piece beautiful, regarding the simplity or deepness.

D` Alin
| Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by DAlin | [ Reply to This ]
  wow..this kinda took me back to a place I don't even want to be again....I think the reason why I feel this poem the way I do and the reason that you wrote it are a little different..but I felt the loss...I know the desperation that you feel with wanting to be with the one person you can't be with..and tears just keep coming no matter what you do...living just doesn't seem like something you want to do...but..even when it seems the hardest..that's when we have to keep going...take care okay?? Great write. ~hailie~
| Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece is pretty good. it makes me think of my ex boyfriend that i'm still in love with.later.kiss.kiss.

luv ya'

Toria
| Posted on 2006-04-16 00:00:00 | by hottpoet | [ Reply to This ]
  its reallty good actually its great i can relate i like this part alot :
I'm torn apart, I can't make it,
Your the on I truly love.
I found you, you lost us.
Together we were suppose to go above.

I'm sinking,letting go,
I can't live without you.
You never wanted me
And now we are through.

And I'm bleeding,I'm crying,
For the last time.
Your supposed to be here.
Guess you were never mine.

i love that part keep up the good work

~jessy~
| Posted on 2006-04-18 00:00:00 | by WhErEaMi | [ Reply to This ]

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