Mothers;
Biological and spiritual
Those women
Amazingly beautiful women
You know the ones
Guiding and caring
Picking you up after falls
Usually over those obstacles
they asked us to watch out for
With a slight smile
Shake of the head
And thought “they’ll learn”
Many mothers have graced me
All cherished and adored
Coming and going
Or staying by my side
Either way impacting my life.
Usually minds kick into auto
And we forget all but the biological
When the spiritual
Deserve as much thanks
I thank all my mothers
Even the ones who didn’t realize
How much the meant
To this growing spirit.
It's a good poem overall, I like it. The first stanza is a bit off. It's different from the rest of the poem, of course that wouldn't usually be a problem but here it affects the overall effect. You could have presented the term of "mother" better by cutting out the last verse and distributing the atributes like "amazingly beautiful" through the poem. Of course, these are just suggestions. Apart from this, i love the choice of words, you really have talent for this stuff. I agree with the fact that mothers are amazing and selfless, a poem much longer could have been written adding the nights they don't sleep, the long days they spent educating their children and so on and so forth. Of course, not even a novel is enough so we all try to express ourselves the way we think best. Liked the biological and spiritual thing. Overall, a nice poem. Lotsa love -Angie
Mothers; Biological and spiritual Those women, Amazingly beautiful women You know the ones.
Guiding and caring lifting up after falling Usually over the obstacles they have asked us to watch out for, With a slight smile, A shking of the head And thinking, “they’ll learn”. [keep the tense the same]
Many mothers have graced me: All cherished and adored. Coming and going, or staying by my side; Either way, they impact my life.
Usually minds kick into auto And forget all but the biological, When the spiritual Deserve as much thanks.
I thank all my mothers, Even the ones who didn’t realize How much the meant To this growing spirit.
I don't even know about teh changes I made, but I know you want my advice, so I guess I'll take a look at the revised vesion, you are so much more talented than I anyhow.
Submission Name: Mothers
